Monday, July 13, 2009

Chapter 1- MASTER AND DISCIPLE

February 1882
M.’s first visit to the Master

IT WAS ON A SUNDAY in spring, a few days after Sri Ramakrishna’s birthday, that M. met him the first time. Sri Ramakrishna lived at the Kailibari, the temple garden of Mother Kali, on the bank of the Ganges at Dakshineswar.

M., being at leisure on Sundays, had gone with his friend Sidhu to visit several gardens at Baranagore. As they were walking in Prasanna Bannerji’s garden, Sidhu said: “There is a charming place on the bank of the Ganges where a paramahamsa lives. Should you like to go there?” M. assented and they started immediately for the Dakshineswar temple garden. They arrived at the main gate at dusk and went straight to Sri Ramakrishna’s room. And there they found him seated on a wooden couch, facing the east. With a smile on his face he was talking of God. The room was full of people, all seated on the floor, drinking in his words in deep silence.

M. stood there speechless and looked on. It was as if he were standing where all the holy places met and as if Sukadeva himself were speaking the word of God, or as if Sri Chaitanya were singing the name and glories of the Lord in Puri with Ramananda, Swarup, and the other devotees.

Formalities and essentials of religion

Sri Ramakrishna said: “When, hearing the name of Hari or Rama once, you shed tears and your hair stands on end, then you may know for certain that you do not have to perform such devotions as the sandhya any more. Then only will you have a right to renounce rituals; or rather, rituals will drop away of themselves. Then it will be enough if you repeat only the name of Rama or Hari, or even simply Om.” Continuing, he said, “The sandhya merges in the Gayatri, and the Gayatri merges in Om.”

M. looked around him with wonder and said to himself: “What a beautiful place! What a charming man! How beautiful his words are! I have no wish to move from this spot.” After a few minutes he thought, “Let me see the place first; then I’ll come back here and sit down.”

As he left the room with Sidhu, he heard the sweet music of the evening service arising in the temple from gong, bell, drum, and cymbal. He could hear music from the nahabat, too, at the south end of the garden. The sounds travelled over the Ganges, floating away and losing themselves in the distance. A soft spring wind was blowing, laden with the fragrance of flowers; the moon had just appeared. It was as if nature and man together were preparing for the evening worship. M. and Sidhu visited the twelve Siva temples, the Radhakanta temple, and the temple of Bhavatarini. And as M. watched the services before the images his heart was filled with joy.

On the way back to Sri Ramakrishna’s room the two friends talked. Sidhu told M. that the temple garden had been founded by Rani Rasmani. He said that God was worshipped there daily as Kali, Krishna, and Siva, and that within the gates sadhus and beggars were fed. When they reached Sri Ramakrishna’s door again, they found it shut, and Brinde, the Maid, standing outside. M., who had been trained in English manners and would not enter a room without permission, asked her, “Is the holy man in?” Brinde replied, “Yes he’s in the room.”

M: “How long has he lived here?”

BRINDE: “Oh, he has been here a long time.”

M: “Does he read many books?”

BRINDE: “Books? Oh, dear no! They’re all on his tongue.”

M. had just finished his studies in college. It amazed him to hear that Sri Ramakrishna read no books.

M: “Perhaps it is time for his evening worship. May we go into the room? Will you tell him we are anxious to see him?”

BRINDE: “Go right in, children. Go in and sit down.”

Entering the room, they found Sri Ramakrishna alone, seated on the wooden couch. Incense had just been burnt and all the doors were shut. As he entered, M. with folded hands saluted the Master. Then, at the Master’s bidding, he and Sidhu sat on the floor. Sri Ramakrishna asked them: “Where do you live? What is your occupation? Why have you come to Baranagore?” M. answered the questions, but he noticed that now and then the Master seemed to become absent-minded. Later he learnt that this mood is called bhava, ecstasy. It is like the state of the angler who has been sitting with his rod: the fish comes and swallows the bait, and the float begins to tremble; the angler is on the alert; he grips the rod and watches the float steadily and eagerly; he will not speak to anyone. Such was the state of Sri Ramakrishna’s mind. Later M. heard, and himself noticed, that Sri Ramakrishna would often go into this mood after dusk, sometimes becoming totally unconscious of the outer world.

M: “Perhaps you want to perform your evening worship. In that case may we take our leave?”

SRI RAMAKRISHNA (still in ecstasy): “No-evening worship? No, it is not exactly that.”

After a little conversation M. saluted the Master and took his leave. “Come again”, Sri Ramakrishna said.

On his way home M. began to wonder: “Who is this serene-looking man who is drawing me back to him? Is it possible for a man to be great without being a scholar? How wonderful it is! I should like to see him again. He himself said, ‘Come again.’ I shall go tomorrow or the day after.”

Second visit

M.’s second visit to Sri Ramakrishna took place on the southeast verandah at eight o’clock in the morning. The Master was about to be shaved, the barber having just arrived. As the cold season still lingered he had put on a moleskin shawl bordered with red. Seeing M., the Master said: “So you have come. That’s good. Sit down here.” He was smiling. He stammered a little when he spoke.

SRI RAMAKRISHNA (to M.): “Where do you live?”

M: “In Calcutta, sir.”

SRI RAMAKRISHNA: “Where are you staying here?”

M: “I am at Baranagore at my older sister’s-Ishan Kaviraj’s house.”

SRI RAMAKRISHNA: “Oh, at Ishan’s? Well, how is Keshab now? He was very ill.”

M: “Indeed, I have heard so too, but I believe he is well now.”

Master’s love for Keshab

SRI RAMAKRISHNA: “I made a vow to worship the Mother with green coconut and sugar on Keshab’s recovery. Sometimes, in the early hours of the morning, I would wake up and cry before Her: ‘Mother, please make Keshab well again. If Keshab doesn’t live, whom shall I talk with when I go to Calcutta?’ And so it was that I resolved to offer Her the green coconut and sugar.

“Tell me, do you know of a certain Mr. Cook who has come to Calcutta? Is it true that he is giving lectures? Once Keshab took me on a steamer, and this Mr. Cook, too was in the party.”

M: “Yes, sir, I have heard something like that; but I have never been to his lectures. I don’t know much about him.”

Sri Ramakrishna on M.’s marriage

SRI RAMAKRISHNA: “Pratap’s brother came here. He stayed a few days. He had nothing to do and said he wanted to live here. I came to know that he had left his wife and children with his father-in-law. He has a whole brood of them! So I took him to task. Just fancy! He is the father of so many children! Will people from the neighbourhood feed them and bring them up? He isn’t even ashamed that someone else is feeding his wife and children, and that they have been left at his father-in-law’s house. I scolded him very hard and asked him to look for a job. Then he was willing to leave here.

“Are you married?”

M: “Yes, sir.”

SRI RAMAKRISHNA (with a shudder): “Oh, Ramlal! Alas, he is married!”

Like one guilty of a terrible offence, M. sat motionless, his eyes fixed on the ground. He thought, “Is it such a wicked thing to get married?”

The Master continued, “Have you any children?”

M. this time could hear the beating of his own heart. He whispered in a trembling voice, “Yes, sir, I have children.”

Very sadly Sri Ramakrishna said, “Ah me! He even has children!”

Thus rebuked M. sat speechless. His pride had received a blow. After a few minutes Sri Ramakrishna looked at him kindly and said affectionately: “You see, you have certain good signs. I know them by looking at a person’s forehead, his eyes, and so on. Tell me, now, what kind of person is your wife? Has she spiritual attributes, or is she under the power of avidya?”

M: “She is all right. But I am afraid she is ignorant.”

MASTER (with evident displeasure): “And you are a man of knowledge!”

M. had yet to learn the distinction between knowledge and ignorance. Up to this time his conception had been that one got knowledge from books and schools. Later on he gave up this false conception. He was taught that to know God is knowledge, and not to know Him, ignorance. When Sri Ramakrishna exclaimed, “And you are a man of knowledge!”, M.’s ego was again badly shocked.

God with and without form

MASTER: “Well, do you believe in God with form or without form?”

M., rather surprised, said to himself: “How can one believe in God without form when one believes in God with form? And if one believes in God without form, how can one believe that God has a form? Can these two contradictory ideas be true at the same time? Can a white liquid like milk be black?”

M: “Sir, I like to think of God as formless.”

MASTER: “Very good. It is enough to have faith in either aspect. You believe in God without form; that is quite all right. But never for a moment think that this alone is true and all else false. Remember that God with form is just as true as God without form. But hold fast to your own conviction.”

The assertion that both are equally true amazed M.; he had never learnt this from his books. Thus his ego received a third blow; but since it was not yet completely crushed, he came forward to argue with the Master a little more.

God and the clay image

M: “Sir, suppose one believes in God with form. Certainly He is not the clay image!”

MASTER (interrupting): “But why clay? It is an image of Spirit.”

M. could not quite understand the significance of this “image of Spirit”. “But, sir,” he said to the Master, “one should explain to those who worship the clay image that it is not God, and that, while worshipping it, they should have God in view and not the clay image. One should not worship clay.”

God the only real teacher

MASTER (sharply): “That’s the one hobby of you Calcutta people - giving lectures and bringing others to the light! Nobody ever stops to consider how to get the light himself. Who are you to teach others?

“He who is the Lord of the Universe will teach everyone. He alone teaches us, who has created this universe; who has made the sun and moon, men and beasts, and all other beings; who has provided means for their sustenance; who has given children parents and endowed them with love to bring them up. The Lord has done so many things - will He not show people the way to worship Him? If they need teaching, then He will be the Teacher. He is our Inner Guide.

“Suppose there is an error in worshipping the clay image; doesn’t God know that through it He alone is being invoked? He will he pleased with that very worship. Why should you get a headache over it? You had better try for knowledge and devotion yourself.”

This time M. felt that his ego was completely crushed. He now said to himself: “Yes, he has spoken the truth. What need is there for me to teach others? Have I known God? Do I really love Him? ‘I haven’t room enough for myself in my bed, and I am inviting my friend to share it with me!’ I know nothing about God, yet I am trying to teach others. What a shame! How foolish I am! This is not mathematics or history or literature, that one can teach it to others. No, this is the deep mystery of God. What he says appeals to me.”

This was M.’s first argument with the Master, and happily his last.

MASTER: “You were talking of worshipping the clay image. Even if the image is made of clay, there is need for that sort of worship. God Himself has provided different forms of worship. He who is the Lord of the Universe has arranged all these forms to suit different men in different stages of knowledge.

“The mother cooks different dishes to suit the stomachs of her different children. Suppose she has five children. If there is a fish to cook, she prepares various dishes from it - pilau, pickled fish, fried fish, and so on - to suit their different tastes and powers of digestion.

“Do you understand me?”

Need of holy company & Meditation in solitude

M. (humbly): “Yes, sir. How, sir, may we fix our minds on God?”

MASTER: “Repeat God’s name and sing His glories, and keep holy company; and now and then visit God’s devotees and holy men. The mind cannot dwell on God if it is immersed day and night in worldliness, in worldly duties and responsibilities; it is most necessary to go into solitude now and then and think of God. To fix the mind on God is very difficult, in the beginning, unless one practises meditation in solitude. When a tree is young it should be fenced all around; otherwise it may be destroyed by cattle.

“To meditate, you should withdraw within yourself or retire to a secluded corner or to the forest. And you should always discriminate between the Real and the unreal. God alone is real, the Eternal Substance; all else is unreal, that is, impermanent. By discriminating thus, one should shake off impermanent objects from the mind.”

God and worldly duties

M. (humbly):”How ought we to live in the world?”

MASTER: “Do all your duties, but keep your mind on God. Live with all - with wife and children, father and mother - and serve them. Treat them as if they were very dear to you, but know in your heart of hearts that they do not belong to you.

“A maidservant in the house of a rich man performs all the household duties, but her thoughts are fixed on her own home in her native village. She brings up her Master’s children as if they were her own. She even speaks of them as ‘my Rama’ or ‘my Hari’. But in her own mind she knows very well that they do not belong to her at all.

“The tortoise moves about in the water. But can you guess where her thoughts are? There on the bank, where her eggs are lying. Do all your duties in the world, but keep your mind on God.

“If you enter the world without first cultivating love for God, you will be entangled more and more. You will be overwhelmed with its danger, its grief, its sorrows. And the more you think of worldly things, the more you will be attached to them.

“First rub your hands with oil and then break open the jack-fruit; otherwise they will be smeared with its sticky milk. First secure the oil of divine love, and then set your hands to the duties of the world.

“But one must go into solitude to attain this divine love. To get butter from milk you must let it set into curd in a secluded spot; if it is too much disturbed, milk won’t turn into curd. Next, you must put aside all other duties, sit in a quiet spot, and churn the curd. Only then do you get butter.

“Further, by meditating on God in solitude the mind acquires knowledge, dispassion, and devotion. But the very same mind goes downward if it dwells in the world. In the world there is only one thought: ‘woman and gold’.2

“The world is water and the mind milk. If you pour milk into water they become one; you cannot find the pure milk any more. But turn the milk into curd and churn it into butter. Then, when that butter is placed in water, it will float. So, practise spiritual discipline in solitude and obtain the butter of knowledge and love. Even if you keep that butter in the water of the world the two will not mix. The butter will float.

Practice of discrimination

“Together with this, you must practise discrimination. ‘Woman and gold’ is impermanent. God is the only Eternal Substance. What does a man get with money? Food, clothes, and a dwelling-place - nothing more. You cannot realize God with its help. Therefore money can never be the goal of life. That is the process of discrimination. Do you understand?”

M: “Yes, sir. I recently read a Sanskrit play called Prabodha Chandrodaya. It deals with discrimination.”

MASTER: “Yes, discrimination about objects. Consider - what is there in money or in a beautiful body? Discriminate and you will find that even the body of a beautiful woman consists of bones, flesh, fat, and other disagreeable things. Why should a man give up God and direct his attention to such things? Why should a man forget God for their sake?”

How to see God

M: “Is it possible to see God?”

MASTER: “Yes, certainly. Living in solitude now and then, repeating God’s name and singing His glories, and discriminating between the Real and the unreal - these are the means to employ to see Him.”

Longing and yearning

M: “Under what conditions does one see God?”

MASTER: “Cry to the Lord with an intensely yearning heart and you will certainly see Him. People shed a whole jug of tears for wife and children. They swim in tears for money. But who weeps for God? Cry to Him with a real cry.”

The Master sang:
Cry to your Mother Syama , with a real cry, O mind!
And how can She hold Herself from you?
How can Syama stay away?
How can your Mother Kali hold Herself away?

O mind, if you are in earnest, bring Her an offering
Of bel-leaves and hibiscus flowers;
Lay at Her feet your offering
And with it mingle the fragrant sandal-paste of Love.

Continuing, he said: “Longing is like the rosy dawn. After the dawn out comes the sun. Longing is followed by the vision of God.

“God reveals Himself to a devotee who feels drawn to Him by the combined force of these three attractions: the attraction of worldly possessions for the worldly man, the child’s attraction for its mother, and the husband’s attraction for the chaste wife. If one feels drawn to Him by the combined force of these three attractions, then through it one can attain Him.

“The point is, to love God even as the mother loves her child, the chaste wife her husband, and the worldly man his wealth. Add together these three forces of love, these three powers of attraction, and give it all to God. Then you will certainly see Him.

“It is necessary to pray to Him with a longing heart. The kitten knows only how to call its mother, crying, ‘Mew, mew!’ It remains satisfied wherever its mother puts it. And the mother cat puts the kitten sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes on the floor, and sometimes on the bed. When it suffers it cries only, ‘Mew, mew!’ That’s all it knows. But as soon as the mother hears this cry, wherever she may be; she comes to the kitten.”

Third visit

It was Sunday afternoon when M. came on his third visit to the Master. He had been profoundly impressed by his first two visits to this wonderful man. He had been thinking of the Master constantly, and of the utterly simple way he explained the deep truths of the spiritual life. Never before had he met such a man.

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting on the small couch. The room was filled with devotees,3 who had taken advantage of the holiday to come to see the Master. M. had not yet become acquainted with any of them; so he took his seat in a corner. The Master smiled as he talked with the devotees.

Narendra

He addressed his words particularly to a young man of nineteen, named Narendranath, who was a college student and frequented the Sadharan Brahmo Samaj. His eyes were bright, his words were full of spirit, and he had the look of a lover of God.

How the spiritually minded should look upon the worldly

M. guessed that the conversation was about worldly men, who look down on those who aspire to spiritual things. The Master was talking about the great number of such people in the world, and about how to deal with them.

MASTER (to Narendra): “How do you feel about it? Worldly people say all kinds of things about the spiritually minded. But look here! When an elephant moves along the street, any number of curs and other small animals may bark and cry after it; but the elephant doesn’t even look back at them. If people speak ill of you, what will you think of them?”

NARENDRA: “I shall think that dogs are barking at me.”

God in every being

MASTER (Smiling): “Oh, no! You mustn’t go that far, my child! (Laughter). God dwells in all beings. But you may be intimate only with good people; you must keep away from the evil-minded. God is even in the tiger; but you cannot embrace the tiger on that account. (Laughter). You may say, ‘Why run away from a tiger, which is also a manifestation of God?’ The answer to that is: ‘Those who tell you to run away are also manifestations of God - and why shouldn’t you listen to them?’

Parable of the “elephant God”

“Let me tell you a story. In a forest there lived a holy man who had many disciples. One day he taught them to see God in all beings and, knowing this, to bow low before them all. A disciple went to the forest to gather wood for the sacrificial fire. Suddenly he heard an outcry: ‘Get out of the way! A mad elephant is coming!’ All but the disciple of the holy man took to their heels. He reasoned that the elephant was also God in another form. Then why should he run away from it? He stood still, bowed before the animal, and began to sing its praises. The mahut of the elephant was shouting: ‘Run away! Run away!’ But the disciple didn’t move. The animal seized him with its trunk, cast him to one side, and went on its way. Hurt and bruised, the disciple lay unconscious on the ground. Hearing what had happened, his teacher and his brother disciples came to him and carried him to the hermitage. With the help of some medicine he soon regained consciousness. Someone asked him, ‘You knew the elephant was coming - why didn’t you leave the place?’ ‘But’, he said, ‘our teacher has told us that God Himself has taken all these forms, of animals as well as men. Therefore, thinking it was only the elephant God that was coming, I didn’t run away.’ At this the teacher said: ‘Yes, my child, it is true that the elephant God was coming; but the mahut God forbade you to stay there. Since all are manifestations of God, why didn’t you trust the mahut’s words? You should have heeded the words of the mahut God.’ (Laughter)

“It is said in the scriptures that water is a form of God. But some water is fit to be used for worship, some water for washing the face, and some only for washing plates or dirty linen. This last sort cannot be used for drinking or for a holy purpose. In like manner, God undoubtedly dwells in the hearts of all - holy and unholy, righteous and unrighteous; but a man should not have dealings with the unholy, the wicked, the impure. He must not be intimate with them. With some of them he may exchange words, but with others he shouldn’t go even that far. He should keep aloof from such people.”

How to deal with the wicked

A DEVOTEE: “Sir, if a wicked man is about to do harm, or actually does so, should we keep quiet then?”

MASTER: “A man living in society should make a show of tamas to protect himself from evil-minded people. But he should not harm anybody in anticipation of harm likely to be done him.

Parable of the snake

“Listen to a story. Some cowherd boys used to tend their cows in a meadow where a terrible poisonous snake lived. Everyone was on the alert for fear of it. One day a brahmachari was going along the meadow. The boys ran to him and said: ‘Revered sir, please don’t go that way. A venomous snake lives over there.’ ‘What of it, my good children?’ said the brahmachari. ‘I am not afraid of the snake. I know some mantras.’ So saying, he continued on his way along the meadow. But the cowherd boys, being afraid, did not accompany him. In the mean time the snake moved swiftly toward him with upraised hood. As soon as it came near, he recited a mantra, and the snake lay at his feet like an earthworm. The brahmachari said: ‘Look here. Why do you go about doing harm? Come, I will give you a holy word. By repeating it you will learn to love God. Ultimately you will realize Him and so get rid of your violent nature.’ Saying this, he taught the snake a holy word and initiated him into spiritual life. The snake bowed before the teacher and said, ‘Revered sir, how shall I practise spiritual discipline?’ ‘Repeat that sacred word’, said the teacher, ‘and do no harm to anybody’. As he was about to depart, the brahmachari said, ‘I shall see you again.’

“Some days passed and the cowherd boys noticed that the snake would not bite. They threw stones at it. Still it showed no anger; it behaved as if it were an earthworm. One day one of the boys came close to it, caught it by the tail, and, whirling it round and round, dashed it again and again on the ground and threw it away. The snake vomited blood and became unconscious. It was stunned. It could not move. So, thinking it dead, the boys went their way.

“Late at night the snake regained consciousness. Slowly and with great difficulty it dragged itself into its hole; its bones were broken and it could scarcely move. Many days passed. The snake became a mere skeleton covered with a skin. Now and then, at night, it would come out in search of food. For fear of the boys it would not leave its hole during the day-time. Since receiving the sacred word from the teacher, it had given up doing harm to others. It maintained its life on dirt, leaves, or the fruit that dropped from the trees.

“About a year later the brahmachari came that way again and asked after the snake. The cowherd boys told him that it was dead. But he couldn’t believe them. He knew that the snake would not die before attaining the fruit of the holy word with which it had been initiated. He found his way to the place and, searching here and there, called it by the name he had given it. Hearing the teacher’s voice, it came out of its hole and bowed before him with great reverence. ‘How are you?’ asked the brahmachari. ‘I am well, sir’, replied the snake. ‘But’, the teacher asked, ‘why are you so thin?’ The snake replied: ‘Revered sir, you ordered me not to harm any body. So I have been living only on leaves and fruit. Perhaps that has made me thinner.’

“The snake had developed the quality of sattva; it could not be angry with anyone. It had totally forgotten that the cowherd boys had almost killed it.

“The brahmachari said: ‘It can’t be mere want of food that has reduced you to this state. There must be some other reason. Think a little.’ Then the snake remembered that the boys had dashed it against the ground. It said: ‘Yes, revered sir, now I remember. The boys one day dashed me violently against the ground. They are ignorant, after all. They didn’t realize what a great change had come over my mind. How could they know I wouldn’t bite or harm anyone?’ The brahmachari exclaimed: ‘What a shame! You are such a fool! You don’t know how to protect yourself. I asked you not to bite, but I didn’t forbid you to hiss. Why didn’t you scare them by hissing?’

“So you must hiss at wicked people. You must frighten them lest they should do you harm. But never inject your venom into them. One must not injure others.

“In this creation of God there is a variety of things: men, animals, trees, plants. Among the animals some are good, some bad. There are ferocious animals like the tiger. Some trees bear fruit sweet as nectar, and others bear fruit that is poisonous. Likewise, among human beings, there are the good and the wicked, the holy and the unholy. There are some who are devoted to God, and others who are attached to the world.

Four classes of men

“Men may be divided into four classes: those bound by the fetters of the world, the seekers after liberation, the liberated, and the ever-free.

“Among the ever-free we may count sages like Narada. They live in the world for the good of others, to teach men spiritual truth.

“Those in bondage are sunk in worldliness and forgetful of God. Not even by mistake do they think of God.

“The seekers after liberation want to free themselves from attachment to the world. Some of them succeed and others do not.

“The liberated souls, such as the sadhus and mahatmas, are not entangled in the world, in ‘woman and gold’. Their minds are free from worldliness. Besides, they always meditate on the Lotus Feet of God.

“Suppose a net has been cast into a lake to catch fish. Some fish are so clever that they are never caught in the net. They are like the ever-free. But most of the fish are entangled in the net. Some of them try to free themselves from it, and they are like those who seek liberation. But not all the fish that struggle succeed. A very few do jump out of the net, making a big splash in the water. Then the fishermen shout, ‘Look! There goes a big one!’ But most of the fish caught in the net cannot escape, nor do they make any effort to get out. On the contrary, they burrow into the mud with the net in their mouths and lie there quietly, thinking, ‘We need not fear any more; we are quite safe here.’ But the poor things do not know that the fishermen will drag them out with the net. These are like the men bound to the world.

“The bound souls are tied to the world by the fetters of ‘woman and gold’. They are bound hand and foot. Thinking that ‘woman and gold’ will make them happy and give them security, they do not realize that it will lead them to annihilation. When a man thus bound to the world is about to die, his wife asks, ‘You are about to go; but what have you done for me?’ Again, such is his attachment to the things of the world that, when he sees the lamp burning brightly, he says: ‘Dim the light. Too much oil is being used.’ And he is on his death-bed!

“The bound souls never think of God. If they get any leisure they indulge in idle gossip and foolish talk, or they engage in fruitless work. If you ask one of them the reason, he answers, ‘Oh, I cannot keep still; so I am making a hedge.’ When time hangs heavy on their hands they perhaps start playing cards.”

There was deep silence in the room.

Redeeming power of faith

A DEVOTEE: “Sir, is there no help, then, for such a worldly person?”

MASTER: “Certainly there is. From time to time he should live in the company of holy men, and from time to time go into solitude to meditate on God. Furthermore, he should practise discrimination and pray to God, ‘Give me faith and devotion.’ Once a person has faith he has achieved everything. There is nothing greater than faith.

(To Kedar) “You must have heard about the tremendous power of faith. It is said in the purana that Rama, who was God Himself - the embodiment of Absolute Brahman - had to build a bridge to cross the sea to Ceylon. But Hanuman, trusting in Rama’s name, cleared the sea in one jump and reached the other side. He had no need of a bridge. (All laugh)

“Once a man was about to cross the sea. Bibhishana wrote Rama’s name on a leaf, tied it in a corner of the man’s wearing-cloth, and said to him: ‘Don’t be afraid. Have faith and walk on the water. But look here - the moment you lose faith you will be drowned.’ The man was walking easily on the water. Suddenly he had an intense desire to see what was tied in his cloth. He opened it and found only a leaf with the name of Rama written on it. ‘What is this?’ he thought. ‘Just the name of Rama!’ As soon as doubt entered his mind he sank under the water.
“If a man has faith in God, then even if he has committed the most heinous sins - such as killing a cow, a brahmin, or a woman - he will certainly be saved through his faith. Let him only say to God, ‘O Lord, I Will not repeat such an action’, and he need not be afraid of anything.”

When he had said this, the Master sang:

If only I can pass away repeating Durga’s name,
How canst Thou then, O Blessed One,
Withhold from me deliverance,
Wretched though I may be?
1 may have stolen a drink of wine, or killed a child unborn,
Or slain a woman or a cow,
Or even caused a brahmin’s death;
But, though it all be true,
Nothing of this can make me feel the least uneasiness;
For through the power of Thy sweet name
My wretched soul may still aspire
Even to Brahmanhood.

Parable of the homa bird

Pointing to Narendra, the Master said: “You all see this boy. He behaves that way here. A naughty boy seems very gentle when with his father. But he is quite another person when he plays in the chandni. Narendra and people of his type belong to the class of the ever-free. They are never entangled in the world. When they grow a little older they feel the awakening of inner consciousness and go directly toward God. They come to the world only to teach others. They never care for anything of the world. They are never attached to ‘woman and gold’.

“The Vedas speak of the homa bird. It lives high up in the sky and there it lays its egg. As soon as the egg is laid it begins to fall; but it is so high up that it continues to fall for many days. As it falls it hatches, and the chick falls. As the chick falls its eyes open; it grows wings. As soon as its eyes open, it realizes that it is falling and will be dashed to pieces on touching the earth. Then it at once shoots up toward the mother bird high in the sky.”

At this point Narendra left the room. Kedar, Prankrishna, M., and many others remained.

Master praises Narendra

MASTER: “You see, Narendra excels in singing, playing on instruments, study, and everything. The other day he had a discussion with Kedar and tore his arguments to shreds. (All laugh.)

(To M.) “Is there any book in English on reasoning?”

M: “Yes, sir, there is. It is called Logic.”

MASTER: “Tell me what it says.”

M. was a little embarrassed. He said: “One part of the book deals with deduction from the general to the particular. For example: All men are mortal. Scholars are men. Therefore scholars are mortal. Another part deals with the method of reasoning from the particular to the general. For example: This crow is black. That crow is black. The crows we see everywhere are black. Therefore all crows are black. But there may be a fallacy in a conclusion arrived at in this way; for on inquiry one may find a white crow in some country. There is another illustration: If there is rain, there is, or has been, a cloud. Therefore rain comes from a cloud. Still another example: This man has thirty-two teeth. That man has thirty-two teeth. All the men we see have thirty-two teeth. Therefore men have thirty-two teeth. English logic deals with such inductions and deductions.”

Sri Ramakrishna barely heard these words. While listening he became absent-minded. So the conversation did not proceed far.

When the meeting broke up, the devotees sauntered in the temple garden. M. went in the direction of the Panchavati. It was about five o’clock in the afternoon. After a while he returned to the Master’s room. There, on the small north verandah, he witnessed an amazing sight.

Sri Ramakrishna was standing still, surrounded by a few devotees, and Narendra was singing. M. had never heard anyone except the Master sing so sweetly. When he looked at Sri Ramakrishna he was struck with wonder; for the Master stood motionless, with eyes transfixed. He seemed not even to breathe. A devotee told M. that the Master was in samadhi. M. had never before seen or heard of such a thing. Silent with wonder, he thought: “Is it possible for a man to be so oblivious of the outer world in the consciousness of God? How deep his faith and devotion must be to bring about such a state!”

Narendra was singing:

Meditate, O my mind, on the Lord Hari,
The Stainless One, Pure Spirit through and through.
How peerless is the Light that in Him shines!
How soul-bewitching is His wondrous form!
How dear is He to all His devotees!

Ever more beauteous in fresh-blossoming love
That shames the splendour of a million moons,
Like lightning gleams the glory of His form,
Raising erect the hair for very joy.

The Master shuddered when this last line was sung. His hair stood on end, and tears of joy streamed down his cheeks. Now and then his lips parted in a smile. Was he seeing the peerless beauty of God, “that shames the splendour of a million moons”? Was this the vision of God, the Essence of Spirit? How much austerity and discipline, how much faith and devotion, must be necessary for such a vision!

The song went on:

Worship His feet in the lotus of your heart;
With mind serene and eyes made radiant
With heavenly love, behold that matchless sight.

Again that bewitching smile. The body motionless as before, the eyes half Shut, as if beholding a strange inner vision.

The song drew to a close. Narendra sang the last lines:

Caught in the spell of His love’s ecstasy,
Immerse yourself for evermore, O mind”
In Him who is Pure Knowledge and Pure Bliss.

The sight of the samadhi, and the divine bliss he had witnessed, left an indelible impression on M.’s mind. He returned home deeply moved. Now and then he could hear within himself the echo of those soul-intoxicating lines:
Immerse yourself for evermore, O mind,
In Him who is Pure Knowledge and Pure Bliss.

Fourth visit

The next day, too, was a holiday for M. He arrived at Dakshineswar at three o’clock in the afternoon. Sri Ramakrishna was in his room; Narendra, Bhavanath, and a few other devotees were sitting on a mat spread on the floor. They were all young men of nineteen or twenty. Seated on the small couch, Sri Ramakrishna was talking with them and smiling.

No sooner had M. entered the room than the Master laughed aloud and said to the boys, “There! He has come again.” They all joined in the laughter. M. bowed low before him and took a seat. Before this he had saluted the Master with folded hands, like one with an English education. But that day he learnt to fall down at his feet in orthodox Hindu fashion.

The peacock and the opium

Presently the Master explained the cause of his laughter to the devotees, He said: “A man once fed a peacock with a pill of opium at four o’clock in the afternoon. The next day, exactly at that time, the peacock came back. It had felt the intoxication of the drug and returned just in time to have another dose.”(All laugh.)

M. thought this a very apt illustration. Even at home he had been unable to banish the thought of Sri Ramakrishna for a moment. His mind was constantly at Dakshineswar and he had counted the minutes until he should go again.

In the mean time the Master was having great fun with the boys, treating them as if they were his most intimate friends. Peals of side-splitting laughter filled the room, as if it were a mart of joy. The whole thing was a revelation to M. He thought: “Didn’t I see him only yesterday intoxicated with God? Wasn’t he swimming then in the Ocean of Divine Love - a sight I had never seen before? And today the same person is behaving like an ordinary man! Wasn’t it he who scolded me on the first day of my coming here? Didn’t he admonish me, saying, ‘And you are a man of knowledge!’? Wasn’t it he who said to me that God with form is as true as God without form? Didn’t he tell me that God alone is real and all else illusory? Wasn’t it he who advised me to live in the world unattached, like a maidservant in a rich man’s house?”

Sri Ramakrishna was having great fun with the young devotees; now and then he glanced at M. He noticed that M. sat in silence. The Master said to Ramlal: “You see, he is a little advanced in years, and therefore somewhat serious. He sits quiet while the youngsters are making merry.” M. was then about twenty-eight years old.

Hanuman’s devotion to Rama

The conversation drifted to Hanuman, whose picture hung on the wall in the Master’s room.

Sri Ramakrishna said: “Just imagine Hanuman’s state of mind. He didn’t care for money, honour, creature comforts, or anything else. He longed only for God. When he was running away with the heavenly weapon that had been secreted in the crystal pillar, Mandodari began to tempt him with various fruits so that he might come down and drop the weapon.5 But he couldn’t be tricked so easily. In reply to her persuasions he sang this song:

Am I in need of fruit?
I have the Fruit that makes this life
Fruitful indeed. Within my heart
The Tree of Rama grows,
Bearing salvation for its fruit.

Under the Wish-fulfilling Tree
Of Rama do I sit at ease,
Plucking whatever fruit I will.
But if you speak of fruit -
No beggar, I, for common fruit.
Behold, I go,
Leaving a bitter fruit for you.”

As Sri Ramakrishna was singing the song he went into samadhi. Again the half-closed eyes and motionless body that one sees in his photograph. Just a minute before, the devotees had been making merry in his company. Now all eyes were riveted on him. Thus for the second time M. saw the Master in samadhi.

After a long time the Master came back to ordinary consciousness. His face lighted up with a smile, and his body relaxed; his senses began to function in a normal way. He shed tears of joy as he repeated the holy name of Rama. M. wondered whether this very saint was the person who a few minutes earlier had been behaving like a child of five.

The Master said to Narendra and M., “I should like to hear you speak and argue in English.” They both laughed. But they continued to talk in their mother tongue. It was impossible for M. to argue any more before the Master. Though Ramakrishna insisted, they did not talk in English.

At five o’clock in the afternoon all the devotees except Narendra and M. took leave of the Master. As M. was walking in the temple garden, he suddenly came upon the Master talking to Narendra on the bank of the goose-pond. Sri Ramakrishna said to Narendra: “Look here. Come a little more often. You are a new-comer. On first acquaintance people visit each other quite often, as is the case with a lover and his sweetheart. (Narendra and M. laugh.) So please come, won’t you?”

Narendra, a member of the Brahmo Samaj, was very particular about his promises. He said with a smile, “Yes, sir, I shall try.”

As they were returning to the Master’s room, Sri Ramakrishna said to M.: “When peasants go to market to buy bullocks for their ploughs, they can easily tell the good from the bad by touching their tails. On being touched there, some meekly lie down on the ground. The peasants recognize that these are without mettle and so reject them. They select only those bullocks that frisk about and show spirit when their tails are touched. Narendra is like a bullock of this latter class. He is full of spirit within.”

The Master smiled as he said this, and continued: “There are some people who have no grit whatever. They are like flattened rice soaked in milk - soft and mushy. No inner strength!”

It was dusk. The Master was meditating on God. He said to M.: “Go and talk to Narendra. Then tell me what you think of him.”

Evening worship was over in the temples. M. met Narendra on the bank of the Ganges and they began to converse. Narendra told M. about his studying in college, his being a member of the Brahmo Samaj, and so on.

It was now late in the evening and time for M.’s departure; but he felt reluctant to go and instead went in search of Sri Ramakrishna. He had been fascinated by the Master’s singing and wanted to hear more. At last he found the Master pacing alone in the natmandir in front of the Kali temple. A lamp was burning in the temple on either side of the image of the Divine Mother. The single lamp in the spacious natmandir blended light and darkness into a kind of mystic twilight, in which the figure of the Master could be dimly seen.

M. had been enchanted by the Master’s sweet music. With some hesitation he asked him whether there would be any more singing that evening. “No, not tonight”, said Sri Ramakrishna after a little reflection. Then, as if remembering something, he added: “But I’m going soon to Balaram Bose’s house in Calcutta. Come there and you’ll hear me sing.” M. agreed to go.

MASTER. “Do you know Balaram Bose?”

M: “No, sir. I don’t.”

MASTER: “He lives in Bosepara.”

M: “Well, sir, I shall find him.”

As Sri Ramakrishna walked up and down the hall with M., he said to him: “Let me ask you something. What do you think of me?”

M. remained silent. Again Sri Ramakrishna asked: “What do you think of me? How many annas of knowledge of God have I?”

M: “I don’t understand what you mean by ‘annas’. But of this I am sure: I have never before seen such knowledge, ecstatic love, faith in God, renunciation, and catholicity anywhere.”

The Master laughed.

M. bowed low before him and took his leave. He had gone as far as the main gate of the temple garden when he suddenly remembered something and came back to Sri Ramakrishna, who was still in the natmandir. In the dim light the Master, all alone, was pacing the hall, rejoicing in the Self - as the lion lives and roams alone in the forest.

In silent wonder M. surveyed that great soul.

MASTER (to M.): “What makes you come back?”

M: “Perhaps the house you asked me to go to belongs to a rich man. They may not let me in. I think I had better not go. I would rather meet you here.”

MASTER: “Oh, no! Why should you think that? Just mention my name. Say that you want to see me; then someone will take you to me.”

M. nodded his assent and, after saluting the Master, took his leave.

Chapter 2 - IN THE COMPANY OF DEVOTEES

March 11, 1882
Master at Balaram’s house

ABOUT EIGHT O’CLOCK in the morning Sri Ramakrishna went as planned to Balaram Bose’s house in Calcutta. It was the day of the Dolayatra. Ram, Manomohan, Rakhal,1 Nityagopal, and other devotees were with him. M., too, came, as bidden by the Master.

Devotees in trance

The devotees and the Master sang and danced in a state of divine fervour. Several of them were in an ecstatic mood. Nityagopal’s chest glowed with the upsurge of emotion, and Rakhal lay on the floor in ecstasy, completely unconscious of the world. The Master put his hand on Rakhal’s chest and said: “Peace. Be quiet.” This was Rakhal’s first experience of ecstasy. He lived with his father in Calcutta and now and then visited the Master at Dakshineswar. About this time he had studied a short while in Vidyasagar’s school at Syampukur.

When the music was over, the devotees sat down for their meal. Balaram stood there humbly, like a servant. Nobody would have taken him for the master of the house. M. was still a stranger to the devotees, having met only Narendra at Dakshineswar.

A few days later M. visited the Master at Dakshineswar. It was between four and five o’clock in the afternoon. The Master and he were sitting on the steps of the Siva temples. Looking at the temple of Radhakanta, across the courtyard, the Master went into an ecstatic mood.

Since his nephew Hriday’s dismissal from the temple, Sri Ramakrishna had been living without an attendant. On account of his frequent spiritual moods he could hardly take care of himself. The lack of an attendant caused him great inconvenience.

Bigotry condemned

Sri Ramakrishna was talking to Kali, the Divine Mother of the Universe. He said: “Mother, everyone says, ‘My watch alone is right.’ The Christians, the Brahmos, the Hindus, the Mussalmans, all say, ‘My religion alone is true.’ But, Mother, the fact is that nobody’s watch is right. Who can truly understand Thee? But if a man prays to Thee with a yearning heart, he can reach Thee, through Thy grace, by any path. Mother, show me some time how the Christians pray to Thee in their churches. But Mother, what will people say if I go in? Suppose they make a fuss! Suppose they don’t allow me to enter the Kali temple again! Well then, show me the Christian worship from the door of the church.”

The mind’s inability to comprehend God

Another day the Master was seated on the small couch in his room, with his usual beaming countenance. M. arrived with Kalikrishna, who did not know where his friend M. was taking him. He had only been told: “If you want to see a grog-shop, then come with me. You will see a huge jar of wine there.” M. related this to Sri Ramakrishna, who laughed about it. The Master said: “The bliss of worship and communion with God is the true wine, the wine of ecstatic love. The goal of human life is to love God, Bhakti is the one essential thing. To know God through jnana and reasoning is extremely difficult.”

Then the Master sang:

Who is there that can understand what Mother Kali is?
Even the six darsanas are powerless to reveal Her….

The Master said, again: “The one goal of life is to cultivate love for God, the love that the milkmaids, the milkmen, and the cowherd boys of Vrindavan felt for Krishna. When Krishna went away to Mathura, the cowherds roamed about weeping bitterly because of their separation from Him.”

Saying this the Master sang, with his eyes turned upward:

Just now I saw a youthful cowherd
With a young calf in his arms;
There he stood, by one hand holding
The branch of a young tree.
“Where are You, Brother Kanai?” he cried;
But “Kanai” scarcely could he utter;
“Ka” was as much as he could say.
He cried, “Where are You, Brother?”
And his eyes were filled with tears.

When M. heard this song of the Master’s, laden with love, his eyes were moist with tears.

April 2, 1882

Master’s visit to Keshab

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting in the drawing-room of Keshab Chandra Sen’s house in Calcutta; it was five o’clock in the afternoon. When Keshab was told of his arrival, he came to the drawing-room dressed to go out, for he was about to call on a sick friend. Now he cancelled his plan. The Master said to him: “You have so many things to attend to. Besides, you have to edit a newspaper. You have no time to come to Dakshineswar; so I have come to see you. When I heard of your illness I vowed green coconut and sugar to the Divine Mother for your recovery. I said to Her, ‘Mother, if something happens to Keshab, with whom shall I talk in Calcutta?’ “

Sri Ramakrishna spoke to Pratap and the other Brahmo devotees. M. was seated near by. Pointing to him, the Master said to Keshab: “Will you please ask him why he doesn’t come to Dakshineswar any more? He repeatedly tells me he is not attached to his wife and children.” M. had been paying visits to the Master for about a month; his absence for a time from Dakshineswar called forth this remark. Sri Ramakrishna had asked M. to write to him, if his coming were delayed.

Pundit Samadhyayi was present. The Brahmo devotees introduced him to Sri Ramakrishna as a scholar well versed in the Vedas and the other scriptures. The Master said, “Yes, I can see inside him through his eyes, as one can see the objects in a room through the glass door.”

Trailokya sang. Suddenly the Master stood up and went into samadhi, repeating the Mother’s name. Coming down a little to the plane of sense consciousness, he danced and sang:

I drink no ordinary wine, but Wine of Everlasting Bliss,
As I repeat my Mother Kali’s name;
It so intoxicates my mind that people take me to be drunk!
First my guru gives molasses for the making of the Wine;
My longing is the ferment to transform it.
Knowledge, the maker of the Wine, prepares it for me then;
And when it is done, my mind imbibes it from the bottle of the mantra,
Taking the Mother’s name to make it pure.
Drink of this Wine, says Ramprasad,2 and the four fruits3 of life are yours.

The Master looked at Keshab tenderly, as if Keshab were his very own. He seemed to fear that Keshab might belong to someone else, that is to say, that he might become a worldly person. Looking at him, the Master sang again:

We are afraid to speak, and yet we are afraid to keep still;
Our minds, O Radha, half believe that we are about to lose you!
We tell you the secret that we know -
The secret whereby we ourselves, and others, with our help,
Have passed through many a time of peril;
Now it all depends on you.

Quoting the last part of the song, he said to Keshab: “That is to say, renounce everything and call on God. He alone is real; all else is illusory. Without the realization of God everything is futile. This is the great secret.”

The Master sat down again and began to converse with the devotees. For a while he listened to a piano recital, enjoying it like a child. Then he was taken to the inner apartments, where he was served with refreshments and the ladies saluted him.

As the Master was leaving Keshab’s house, the Brahmo devotees accompanied him respectfully to his carriage.

Sunday, April 9, 1882

Sri Ramakrishna was seated with his devotees in the drawing-room of Prankrishna Mukherji’s house in Calcutta; it was between one and two o’clock in the afternoon. Since Colonel Viswanath4 lived in that neighbourhood, the Master intended to visit him before going to see Keshab at the Lily Cottage. A number of neighbours and other friends of Prankrishna had been invited to meet Sri Ramakrishna. They were all eager to hear his words.

God and His glory & Dangers of worldly life

MASTER: “God and His glory. This universe is His glory. People see His glory and forget everything. They do not seek God, whose glory is this world. All seek to enjoy ‘woman and gold’. But there is too much misery and worry in that. This world is like the whirlpool of the Visalakshi5. Once a boat gets into it there is no hope of its rescue. Again, the world is like a thorny bush: you have hardly freed yourself from one set of thorns before you find yourself entangled in another. Once you enter a labyrinth you find it very difficult to get out. Living in the world, a man becomes seared, as it were.”

A DEVOTEE: “Then what is the way, sir?”

Prayer and holy company & Earnest longing

MASTER: “Prayer and the company of holy men. You cannot get rid of an ailment without the help of a physician. But it is not enough to be in the company of religious people only for a day. You should constantly seek it, for the disease has become chronic. Again, you can’t understand the pulse rightly unless you live with a physician. Moving with him constantly, you learn to distinguish between the pulse of phlegm and the pulse of bile.”

DEVOTEE: “What is the good of holy company?”

MASTER: “It begets yearning for God. It begets love of God. Nothing whatsoever is achieved in spiritual life without yearning. By constant living in the company of holy men, the soul becomes restless for God. This yearning is like the state of mind of a man who has someone ill in the family. His mind is in a state of perpetual restlessness, thinking how the sick person may be cured. Or again, one should feel a yearning for God like the yearning of a man who has lost his job and is wandering from one office to another in search of work. If he is rejected at a certain place which has no vacancy, he goes there again the next day and inquires, ‘Is there an vacancy today?’

“There is another way: earnestly praying to God. God is our very own. We should say to Him: ‘O God, what is Thy nature? Reveal Thyself to me. Thou must show Thyself to me; for why else hast Thou created me?’ Some Sikh devotees once said to me, ‘God is full of compassion.’ I said: ‘But why should we call Him compassionate? He is our Creator. What is there to be wondered at if He is kind to us? Parents bring up their children. Do you call that an act of kindness? They must act that way.’ Therefore we should force our demands on God. He is our Father and Mother, isn’t He? If the son demands his patrimony and gives up food and drink in order to enforce his demand, then the parents hand his share over to him three years before the legal time. Or when the child demands some pice from his mother, and says over and over again: ‘Mother, give me a couple of pice. I beg you on my knees!’ - then the mother, seeing his earnestness, and unable to bear it any more, tosses the money to him.

“There is another benefit from holy company. It helps one cultivate discrimination between the Real and the unreal. God alone is the Real, that is to say, the Eternal Substance, and the world is unreal, that is to say, transitory. As soon as a man finds his mind wandering away to the unreal, he should apply discrimination. The moment an elephant stretches out its trunk to eat a plantain-tree in a neighbour’s garden, it gets a blow from the iron goad of the driver.”

Explanation of evil

A NEIGHBOUR: “Why does a man have sinful tendencies?”

MASTER: “In God’s creation there are all sorts of things. He has created bad men as well as good men. It is He who gives us good tendencies, and it is He again who gives us evil tendencies.”

NEIGHBOUR: “In that case we aren’t responsible for our sinful actions, are we?”

MASTER: “Sin begets its own result. This is God’s law. Won’t you burn our tongue if you chew a chilli? In his youth Mathur6 led a rather fast life; so he suffered from various diseases before his death.

“One may not realize this in youth. I have looked into the hearth in the kitchen of the Kali temple when logs are being burnt. At first the wet wood burns rather well. It doesn’t seem then that it contains much moisture. But when the wood is sufficiently burnt, all the moisture runs back to one end. At last water squirts from the fuel and puts out the fire.

“So one should be careful about anger, passion, and greed. Take, for instance, the case of Hanuman. In a fit of anger he burnt Ceylon. At last he remembered that Sita was living in the aÅ›oka grove. Then he began to tremble lest the fire should injure her.”

NEIGHHBOUR: “Why has God created wicked people?”

MASTER: “That is His will, His play. In His maya there exists avidya as well as vidya. Darkness is needed too. It reveals all the more the glory of light. There is no doubt that anger, lust, and greed are evils. Why, then, has God created them? In order to create saints. A man becomes a saint by conquering the senses. Is there anything impossible for a man who has subdued his passions? He can even realize God, through His grace. Again, see how His whole play of creation is perpetuated through lust.

“Wicked people are needed too. At one time the tenants of an estate became unruly. The landlord had to send Golak Choudhury, who was a ruffian. He was such a harsh administrator that the tenants trembled at the very mention of his name.

“There is need of everything. Once Sita said to her Husband: ‘Rama, it would be grand if every house in Ayhodhya were a mansion! I find many houses old and dilapidated.’ ‘But, my dear,’ said Rama, ‘if all the houses were beautiful ones, what would the masons do?’ (Laughter.) God has created all kinds of things. He has created good trees, and poisonous plants and weeds as well. Among the animals there are good, bad, and all kinds of creatures - tigers, lions, snakes, and so on.”

Washing away the heart’s impurities with tears

NEIGHTBOUR: “Sir, is it ever possible to realize God while leading the life of a householder?”

MASTER: “Certainly. But as I said just now, one must live in holy company and pray unceasingly. One should weep for God. When the impurities of the mind are thus washed away, one realizes God. The mind is like a needle covered with mud, and God is like a magnet. The needle cannot be united with the magnet unless it is free from mud. Tears wash away the mud, which is nothing but lust, anger, greed, and other evil tendencies, and the inclination to worldly enjoyments as well. As soon as the mud is washed away, the magnet attracts the needle, that is to say, man realizes God. Only the pure in heart see God. A fever patient has an excess of the watery element in his system. What can quinine do for him unless that is removed?

“Why shouldn’t one realize God while living in the world? But, as I said, one must live in holy company, pray to God, weeping for His grace, and now and then go into solitude. Unless the plants on a foot-path are protected at first by fences, they are destroyed by cattle.”

Need of a guru

NEIGHBOUR: “Then householders, too, will have the vision of God, won’t they?”

MASTER: “Everybody will surely be liberated. But one should follow the instructions of the guru; if one follows a devious path, one will suffer in trying to retrace one’s steps. It takes a long time to achieve liberation. A man may fail to obtain it in this life. Perhaps he will realize God only after many births. Sages like Janaka performed worldly duties. They performed them, bearing God in their minds, as a dancing-girl dances, keeping jars or trays on her head. Haven’t you seen how the women in northwest India walk, talking and laughing while carrying water-pitchers on their beads?”

NEIGHBOUR: “You just referred to the instructions of the guru. How shall we find him?”

MASTER: “Anyone and everyone cannot be a guru. A huge timber floats on the water and can carry animals as well. But a piece of worthless wood sinks, if a man sits on it, and drowns him. Therefore in every age God incarnates Himself as the guru, to teach humanity. Satchidananda alone is the guru.

“What is knowledge? And what is the nature of this ego? ‘God alone is the Doer, and none else’ - that is knowledge. I am not the doer; I am a mere instrument in His hand. Therefore I say: ‘O Mother, Thou art the Operator and I am the machine. Thou art the Indweller and I am the house. Thou art the Driver and I am the carriage. I move as Thou movest me. I do as Thou makest me do. I speak as Thou makest me speak. Not I, not I, but Thou, but Thou.’ “

From Prankrishna’s house the Master went to Colonel Viswanath’s and from there to the Lily Cottage.

Chapter 3 - VISIT TO VIDYASAGAR

August 5, 1882

PUNDIT ISWAR CHANDRA VIDYASAGAR was born in the village of Beersingh, not far from Kamarpukur, Sri Ramakrishna’s birthplace. He was known as a great scholar, educator, writer, and philanthropist. One of the creators of modern Bengali, he was also well versed in Sanskrit grammar and poetry. His generosity made his name a household word with his countrymen, most of his income being given in charity to widows, orphans, indigent students, and other needy people. Nor was his compassion limited to human beings: he stopped drinking milk for years so that the calves should not be deprived of it, and he would not drive in a carriage for fear of causing discomfort to the horses. He was a man of indomitable spirit, which he showed when he gave up the lucrative position of principal of the Sanskrit College of Calcutta because of a disagreement with the authorities. His affection for his mother was especially deep. One day, in the absence of a ferryboat, he swam a raging river at the risk of his life to fulfil her wish that he should be present at his brother’s wedding. His whole life was one of utter simplicity. The title Vidyasagar, meaning “Ocean of Learning”, was given him in recognition of his vast erudition.

Master’s visit to the scholar

Sri Ramakrishna had long wanted to visit Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar. Learning from M. that he was a teacher at Vidyasagar’s school, the Master asked: “Can you take me to Vidyasagar? I should like very much to see him.” M. told Iswar Chandra of Sri Ramakrishna’s wish, and the pundit gladly agreed that M. should bring the Master, some Saturday afternoon at four o’clock. He only asked M. what kind of paramahamsa the Master was, saying, “Does he wear an ochre cloth?” M. answered: “No, sir. He is an unusual person. He wears a red-bordered cloth and polished slippers. He lives in a room in Rani Rasmani’s temple garden. In his room there is a couch with a mattress and mosquito net. He has no outer indication of holiness. But he doesn’t know anything except God. Day and night he thinks of God alone.”

On the afternoon of August 5 the Master left Dakshineswar in a hackney carriage, accompanied by Bhavanath, M., and Hazra. Vidyasagar lived in Badurbagan, in central Calcutta, about six miles from Dakshineswar. On the way Sri Ramakrishna talked with his companions; but as the carriage neared Vidyasagar’s house his mood suddenly changed. He was overpowered with divine ecstasy. Not noticing this, M. pointed out the garden house where Raja Rammohan Roy had lived. The Master was annoyed and said, “I don’t care about such things now.” He was going into an ecstatic state.

The carriage stopped in front of. Vidyasagar’s house. The Master alighted, supported by M., who then led the way. In the courtyard were many flowering plants. As the Master walked to the house he said to M., like a child, pointing to his shirt-button: “My shirt is unbuttoned. Will that offend Vidyasagar?” “Oh, no!” said M. “Don’t be anxious about it. Nothing about you will be offensive. You don’t have to button your shirt.” He accepted the assurance simply, like a child.

Vidyasagar was about sixty-two years old, sixteen or seventeen years older than the Master. He lived in a two-storey house built in the English fashion, with lawns on all sides and surrounded by a high wall. After climbing the stairs to the second floor, Sri Ramakrishna and his devotees entered a room at the far end of which Vidyasagar was seated facing them, with a table in front of him. To the right of the table was a bench. Some friends of their host occupied chairs on the other two sides.

Vidyasagar rose to receive the Master. Sri Ramakrishna stood in front of the bench, with one hand resting on the table. He gazed at Vidyasagar, as if they had known each other before, and smiled in an ecstatic mood. In that mood he remained standing a few minutes. Now and then, to bring his mind back to normal consciousness, he said, “I shall have a drink of water.”

In the mean time the young members of the household and a few friends and relatives of Vidyasagar had gathered around. Sri Ramakrishna, still in an ecstatic mood, sat on the bench. A young man, seventeen or eighteen years old, who had come to Vidyasagar to seek financial help for his education, was seated there. The Master sat down at a little distance from the boy, saying in an abstracted mood: “Mother, this boy is very much attached to the world. He belongs to Thy realm of ignorance.”

Vidyasagar told someone to bring water and asked M. whether the Master would like some sweetmeats also. Since M. did not object, Vidyasagar himself went eagerly to the inner apartments and brought the sweets. They were placed before the Master. Bhavanath and Hazra also received their share. When they were offered to M., Vidyasagar said: “Oh, he is like one of the family. We needn’t worry about him.” Referring to a young devotee, the Master said to Vidyasagar: “He is a nice young man and is sound at the core. He is like the river Phalgu. The surface is covered with sand; but if you dig a little you will find water flowing underneath.”

After taking some of the sweets, the Master, with a smile, began to speak to Vidyasagar. Meanwhile the room had become filled with people; some were standing and others were seated.

MASTER: “Ah! Today, at last, I have come to the ocean. Up till now I have seen only canals, marshes, or a river at the most. But today I am face to face with the sagar, the ocean.”(All laugh.)

VIDYASAGAR (smiling): “Then please take home some salt water.” (Laughter.)

MASTER: “Oh, no! Why salt water? You aren’t the ocean of ignorance. You are the ocean of vidya, knowledge. You are the ocean of condensed milk.”(All laugh.)

VIDYASAGAR: “Well, you may put it that way.”

The pundit became silent. Sri Ramakrishna said: “Your activities are inspired by sattva. Though they are rajasic, they are influenced by sattva. Compassion springs from sattva. Though work for the good of others belongs to rajas, yet this rajas has sattva for its basis, and is not harmful. Suka and other sages cherished compassion in their minds to give people religious instruction, to teach them about God. You are distributing food and learning. That is good too. If these activities are done in a selfless spirit they lead to God. But most people work for fame or to acquire merit. Their activities are not selfless. Besides, you are already a siddha.”

VIDYASAGAR: “How is that, sir?”

MASTER (laughing): “When potatoes and other vegetables are well cooked, they become soft and tender. And you possess such a tender nature! You are so compassionate!”(Laughter.)

VIDYASAGAR (laughing): “But when the paste of kalai pulse is boiled it becomes all the harder.”

Uninspired scholarship condemned

MASTER: “But you don’t belong to that class. Mere pundits are like diseased fruit that becomes hard and will not ripen at all. Such fruit has neither the freshness of green fruit nor the flavour of ripe. Vultures soar very high in the sky, but their eyes are fixed on rotten carrion on the ground. The book-learned are reputed to be wise, but they are attached to ‘woman and gold’. Like the vultures, they are in search of carrion. They are attached to the world of ignorance. Compassion, love of God, and renunciation are the glories of true knowledge.”

Vidyasagar listened to these words in silence. The others, too, gazed at the Master and were attentive to every word he said.

Vidyasagar was very reticent about giving religious instruction to others. He had studied Hindu philosophy. Once, when M. had asked him his opinion of it, Vidyasagar had said, “I think the philosophers have failed to explain what was in their minds.” But in his daily life he followed all the rituals of Hindu religion and wore the sacred thread of a brahmin. About God he had once declared: “It is indeed impossible to know Him. What, then, should be our duty? It seems to me that we should live in such a way that, if others followed our example, this very earth would be heaven. Everyone should try to do good to the world.”

The world of duality & Transcendental nature of Brahman

Sri Ramakrishna’s conversation now turned to the Knowledge of Brahman.

MASTER: “Brahman is beyond vidya and avidya, knowledge and ignorance. It is beyond maya, the illusion of duality.

“The world consists of the illusory duality of knowledge and ignorance. It contains knowledge and devotion, and also attachment to ‘Woman and gold’; righteousness and unrighteousness; good and evil. But Brahman is unattached to these. Good and evil apply to the jiva, the individual soul, as do righteousness and unrighteousness; but Brahman is not at all affected by them.

“One man may read the Bhagavata by the light of a lamp, and another may commit a forgery by that very light; but the lamp is unaffected. The sun sheds its light on the wicked as well as on the virtuous.

“You may ask, ‘How, then, can one explain misery and sin and unhappiness?’ The answer is that these apply only to the jiva. Brahman is unaffected by them. There is poison in a snake; but though others may die if bitten by it, the snake itself is not affected by the poison.

Brahman cannot be expressed in words

“What Brahman is cannot he described. All things in the world - the Vedas, the Puranas, the Tantras, the six systems of philosophy - have been defiled, like food that has been touched by the tongue, for they have been read or uttered by the tongue. Only one thing has not been defiled in this way, and that is Brahman. No one has ever been able to say what Brahman is.”

VIDYASAGAR (to his friends): “Oh! That is a remarkable statement. I have learnt something new today.”

MASTER: “A man had two sons. The father sent them to a preceptor to learn the Knowledge of Brahman. After a few years they returned from their preceptor’s house and bowed low before their father. Wanting to measure the depth of their knowledge of Brahman, he first questioned the older of the two boys. ‘My child,’ he said, ‘You have studied all the scriptures. Now tell me, what is the nature of Brahman?’ The boy began to explain Brahman by reciting various texts from the Vedas. The father did not say anything. Then he asked the younger son the same question. But the boy remained silent and stood with eyes cast down. No word escaped his lips. The father was pleased and said to him: ‘My child, you have understood a little of Brahman. What It is cannot be expressed in words.’

Parable of ant and sugar hill

“Men often think they have understood Brahman fully. Once an ant went to a hill of sugar. One grain filled its stomach. Taking another grain in its mouth it started homeward. On its way it thought, ‘Next time I shall carry home the whole hill.’ That is the way shallow minds think. They don’t know that Brahman is beyond one’s words and thought. However great a man may be, how much can he know of Brahman? Sukadeva and sages like him may have been big ants; but even they could carry at the utmost eight or ten grains of sugar!

“As for what has been said in the Vedas and the Puranas, do you know what it is like? Suppose a man has seen the ocean, and somebody asks him, ‘Well, what is the ocean like?’ The first man opens his mouth as wide as he can and says: ‘What a sight! What tremendous waves and sounds!’ The description of Brahman in the sacred books is like that. It is said in the Vedas that Brahman is of the nature of Bliss - It is Satchidananda.

“Suka and other sages stood on the shore of this Ocean of Brahman and saw and touched the water. According to one school of thought they never plunged into it. Those who do, cannot come back to the world again.

Parable of salt doll

“In samadhi one attains the Knowledge of Brahman - one realizes Brahman. In that state reasoning stops altogether, and man becomes mute. He has no power to describe the nature of Brahman.

“Once a salt doll went to measure the depth of the ocean. (All laugh.) It wanted to tell others how deep the water was. But this it could never do, for no sooner did it get into the water than it melted. Now who was there to report the ocean’s depth?”

A DEVOTEE: “Suppose a man has obtained the Knowledge of Brahman in samadhi. Doesn’t he speak any more?”

MASTER: “Sankaracharya retained the ‘ego of Knowledge’ in order to teach others. After the vision of Brahman a man becomes silent. He reasons about It as long as he has not realized It. If you heat butter in a pan on the stove, it makes a sizzling sound as long as the water it contains has not dried up. But when no trace of water is left the clarified butter makes no sound. If you put an uncooked cake of flour in that butter it sizzles again. But after the cake is cooked all sound stops. Just so, a man established in samadhi comes down to the relative plane of consciousness in order to teach others, and then he talks about God.

“The bee buzzes as long as it is not sitting on a flower. It becomes silent when it begins to sip the honey. But sometimes, intoxicated with the honey, it buzzes again.

“An empty pitcher makes a gurgling sound when it is dipped in water. When it fills up it becomes silent. (All laugh.) But if the water is poured from it into another pitcher, then you will hear the sound again. (Laughter.)

Rishis of ancient India

“The rishis of old attained the Knowledge of Brahman. One cannot have this so long as there is the slightest trace of worldliness. How hard the rishis laboured! Early in the morning they would go away from the hermitage, and would spend the whole day in solitude, meditating on Brahman. At night they would return to the hermitage and eat a little fruit or roots. They kept their minds aloof from the objects of sight, hearing, touch, and other things of a worldly nature. Only thus did they realize Brahman as their own inner consciousness.

“But in the Kaliyuga, man, being totally dependent on food for life, cannot altogether shake off the idea that he is the body. In this state of mind it is not proper for him to say, ‘I am He.’ When a man does all sorts of worldly things, he should not say, ‘I am Brahman.’ Those who cannot give up attachment to worldly things, and who find no means to shake off the feeling of ‘I’, should rather cherish the idea ‘I am God’s servant; I am His devotee.’ One can also realize God by following the path of devotion.

Jnani and Vijnani

“The jnani gives up his identification with worldly things, discriminating, ‘Not this, not this’. Only then can he realize Brahman. It is like reaching the roof of a house by leaving the steps behind, one by one. But the vijnani, who is more intimately acquainted with Brahman, realizes something more. He realizes that the steps are made of the same materials as the roof: bricks, lime, and brick-dust. That which is realized intuitively as Brahman, through the eliminating process of ‘Not this, not this’, is then found to have become the universe and all its living beings. The vijnani sees that the Reality which is nirguna, without attributes, is also saguna, with attributes.

“A man cannot live on the roof a long time. He comes down again. Those who realize Brahman in samadhi come down also and find that it is Brahman that has become the universe and its living beings. In the musical scale there are the notes sa, re ga, ma, pa, dha, and ni; but one cannot keep one’s voice on ‘ni’ a long time. The ego does not vanish altogether. The man coming down from samadhi perceives that it is Brahman that has become the ego, the universe, and all living beings. This is known as vijnana.

Path of love is easy

“The path of knowledge leads to Truth, as does the path that combines knowledge and love. The path of love, too, leads to this goal. The way of love is as true as the way of knowledge. All paths ultimately lead to the same Truth. But as long as God keeps the feeling of ego in us, it is easier to follow the path of love.

“The vijnani sees that Brahman is immovable and actionless, like Mount Sumeru. This universe consists of the three gunas - sattva, rajas, and tamas. They are in Brahman. But Brahman is unattached.

God’s supernatural powers

“The vijnani further sees that what is Brahman is the Bhagavan, the Personal God. He who is beyond the three gunas is the Bhagavan, with His six supernatural powers. Living beings, the universe, mind, intelligence, love, renunciation, knowledge - all these are the manifestations of His power. (With a laugh) If an aristocrat has neither house nor property, or if he has been forced to sell them, one doesn’t call him an aristocrat any more. (All laugh.) God is endowed with the six supernatural powers. If He were not who would obey Him? (All laugh.)

Different manifestations of God’s power

“Just see how picturesque this universe is! How many things there are! The sun, moon, and stars; and how many varieties of living beings! - big and small, good and bad, strong and weak - some endowed with more power some with less.”

VIDYASAGAR: “Has He endowed some with more power and others with less?”

MASTER: “As the All-pervading Spirit He exists in all beings, even in the ant. But the manifestations of His Power are different in different beings; otherwise, how can one person put ten to flight, while another can’t face even one? And why do all people respect you? Have you grown a pair horns? (Laughter.) You have more compassion and learning. Therefore people honour you and come to pay you their respects. Don’t you agree with me?”

Vidyasagar smiled.

The Master continued: “There is nothing in mere scholarship. The object of study is to find means of knowing God and realizing Him. A holy man had a book. When asked what it contained, he opened it and showed that on all the pages were written the words ‘Om Rama’, and nothing else.

“What is the significance of the Gita? It is what you find by repeating the word ten times. It is then reversed into ‘tagi’, which means a person who has renounced everything for God. And the lesson of. the Gita is: ‘O man, renounce everything and seek God alone.’ Whether a man is a monk or a householder, he has to shake off all attachment from his mind.

“Chaitanyadeva set out on a pilgrimage to southern India. One day he saw a man reading the Gita. Another man, seated at a distance, was listening and weeping. His eyes were swimming in tears. Chaitanyadeva asked him, ‘Do you understand all this?’ The man said, ‘No, revered sir, I don’t understand a word of the text.’ ‘Then why are you crying?’ asked Chaitanya. The devotee said: ‘I see Arjuna’s chariot before me. I see Lord Krishna and Arjuna seated in front of it, talking. I see this and I weep.’

“Why does a vijnani keep an attitude of love toward God? The answer is that ‘I-consciousness’ persists. It disappears in the state of samadhi, no doubt, but it comes back. In the case of ordinary people the ‘I’ never disappears. You may cut down the aswattha tree, but the next day sprouts shoot up. (All laugh.)

Ego causes our sufferings

“Even after the attainment of Knowledge this ‘I-consciousness’ comes up, nobody knows from where. You dream of a tiger. Then you awake; but your heart keeps on palpitating! All our suffering is due to this ‘I’. The cow cries, ‘Hamba!’, which means ‘I’. That is why it suffers so much. It is yoked to the plough and made to work in rain and sun. Then it may be killed by the butcher. From its hide shoes are made, and also drums, which are mercilessly, beaten. (Laughter.) Still it does not escape suffering. At last strings are made out of its entrails for the bows used in carding cotton. Then it no longer says, ‘Hamba! Hamba!’, ‘I! I!’ but ‘Tuhu! Tuhu!’, ‘Thou! Thou!’ Only then are its troubles over. O Lord, I am the servant; Thou art the Master. I am the child; Thou art the Mother.

“Once Rama asked Hanuman, ‘How do you look on Me?’ And Hanuman replied: ‘O Rama, as long as I have the feeling of “I”, I see that Thou art the whole and I am a part; Thou art the Master and I am Thy servant. But when, O Rama, I have the knowledge of Truth, then I realize that Thou art I and I am Thou.’

“The relationship of master and servant is the proper one. Since this ‘I’ must remain, let the rascal be God’s servant.

Evil of “I”and “mine”

“‘I’ and ‘mine’ - these constitute ignorance. ‘My house’, ‘my wealth’, ‘my learning’, ‘my possessions’ - the attitude that prompts one to say such things comes of ignorance. On the contrary, the attitude born of Knowledge is: ‘O God, Thou art the Master, and all these things belong to Thee. House, family, children, attendants, friends, are Thine.’

“One should constantly remember death. Nothing will survive death. We are born into this world to perform certain duties, like the people who come from the countryside to Calcutta on business. If a visitor goes to a rich man’s garden, the superintendent says to him, ‘This is our garden’, ‘This is our lake’, and so forth. But if the superintendent is dismissed for some misdeed, he can’t carry away even his mango-wood chest. He sends it secretly by the gate-keeper. (Laughter.)

“God laughs on two occasions. He laughs when the physician says to the patient’s mother, ‘Don’t be afraid, mother; I shall certainly cure your boy.’ God laughs, saying to Himself, ‘I am going to take his life, and this man says he will save it!’ The physician thinks he is the master, forgetting that God is the Master. God laughs again when two brothers divide their land with a string, saying to each other, ‘This side is mine and that side is your’. He laughs and says to Himself, ‘The whole universe belongs to Me, but they say they own this portion or that portion.’

“Can one know God through reasoning? Be His servant, surrender yourself to Him, and then pray to Him.

(To Vidyasagar, with a smile) “Well, what is your attitude?”

VIDYASAGAR (smiling): “Some day I shall confide it to you.”(All laugh)

MASTER (laughing): “God cannot be realized through mere scholarly reasoning.”

Intoxicated with divine love, the Master sang:

Who is there that can understand what Mother Kali is?
Even the six darsanas are powerless to reveal Her.
It is She, the scriptures say, that is the Inner Self
Of the yogi, who in Self discovers all his joy;
She that, of Her own sweet will, inhabits every living thing.

The macrocosm and microcosm rest in the Mother’s womb;
Now do you see how vast it is? In the Muladhara
The yogi meditates on Her, and in the Sahasrara:
Who but Siva has beheld Her as She really is?
Within the lotus wilderness She sports beside Her Mate, the Swan.

When man aspires to understand Her, Ramprasad must smile;
To think of knowing Her, he says, is quite as laughable
As to imagine one can swim across the boundless sea.
But while my mind has understood, alas! my heart has not;
Though but a dwarf, it still would strive to make a captive of the moon.

Continuing, the Master said: “Did you notice?
The macrocosm and microcosm rest in the Mother’s womb;
Now do you see how vast it is?

Again, the poet says:
Even the six darsanas are powerless to reveal Her.

She cannot be realized by means of mere scholarship.

Power of faith

“One must have faith and love. Let me tell you how powerful faith is. A man was about to cross the sea from Ceylon to India. Bibhishana said to him: ‘Tie this thing in a corner of your wearing-cloth, and you will cross the sea safely. You will be able to walk on the water. But be sure not to examine it, or you will sink.’ The man was walking easily on the water of the sea - such is the strength of faith - when, having gone part of the way, he thought, ‘What is this wonderful thing Bibhishana has given me, that I can walk even on the water?’ He untied the knot and found only a leaf with the name of Rama written on it. ‘Oh, just this!’ he thought, and instantly he sank.

“There is a popular saying that Hanuman jumped over the sea through his faith in Rama’s name, but Rama himself had to build a bridge.

“If a man has faith in God, then He need not be afraid though he may have committed sin - nay, the vilest sin.”

Then Sri Ramakrishna sang a song glorifying the Power of faith:

If only I can pass away repeating Durga’s name,
How canst Thou then, O Blessed One,
Withhold from me deliverance,
Wretched though I may be? …

The Master continued: “Faith and devotion. One realizes God easily through devotion. He is grasped through ecstasy of love.”

With these words the Master sang again:

How are you trying, O my mind, to know the nature of God?
You are groping like a madman locked in a dark room.
He is grasped through ecstatic love; how can you fathom Him without it?
Only through affirmation, never negation, can you know Him;
Neither through Veda nor through Tantra nor the six darsanas.

It is in love’s elixir only that He delights, O mind;
He dwells in the body’s inmost depths, in Everlasting Joy.
And, for that love, the mighty yogis practise yoga from age to age;
When love awakes, the Lord, like a magnet, draws to Him the soul.

He it is, says Ramprasad, that I approach as Mother;
But must I give away the secret, here in the marketplace?
From the hints I have given, O mind, guess what that Being is!

While singing, the Master went into samadhi. He was seated on the bench, facing west, the palms of his hands joined together, his body erect and motionless. Everyone watched him expectantly. Vidyasagar, too, was speechless and could not take his eyes from the Master.

Brahman and Sakti are identical

After a time Sri Ramakrishna showed signs of regaining the normal state. He drew a deep breath and said with a smile: “The means of realizing God are ecstasy of love and devotion - that is, one must love God. He who is Brahman is addressed as the Mother.

He it is, says Ramprasad, that I approach as Mother;
But must I give away the secret, here in the market-place?
From the hints I have given, O mind, guess what that Being is!

“Ramprasad asks the mind only to guess the nature of God. He wishes it to understand that what is called Brahman in the Vedas is addressed by Him as the Mother. He who is attributeless also has attributes. He who is Brahman is also Sakti. When thought of as inactive, He is called Brahman, and when thought of as the Creator, Preserver, and Destroyer, He is called the Primordial Energy, Kali.

“Brahman and Sakti are identical, like fire and its power to bum. When we talk of fire we automatically mean also its power to burn. Again, the fire’s power to burn implies the fire itself. If you accept the one you must accept the other.

“Brahman alone is addressed as the Mother. This is because a mother is an object of great love. One is able to realize God just through love. Ecstasy of feeling, devotion, love, and faith - these are the means. Listen to a song:

As is a man’s meditation, so is his feeling of love;
As is a man’s feeling of love, so is his gain;
And faith is the root of all.
If in the Nectar Lake of Mother Ka1i’s feet
My mind remains immersed,
Of little use are worship, oblations, or sacrifice.

Growth of divine love lessens worldly duties

“What is needed is absorption in God - loving Him intensely. The ‘Nectar Lake’ is the Lake of Immortality. A man sinking in It does not die, but becomes immortal. Some people believe that by thinking of God too much the mind becomes deranged; but that is not true. God is the Lake of Nectar, the Ocean of Immortality. He is called the ‘Immortal’ in the Vedas. Sinking in It, one does not die, but verily transcends death.
Of little use are worship, oblations, or sacrifice.
If a man comes to love God, he need not trouble himself much about these activities. One needs a fan only as long as there is no breeze. The fan may be laid aside if the southern breeze blows. Then what need is there of a fan?

(To Vidyasagar) “The activities that you are engaged in are good. It is very good if you can perform them in a selfless spirit, renouncing egotism, giving up the idea that you are the doer. Through such action one develops love and devotion to God, and ultimately realizes Him.

“The more you come to love God, the less you will be inclined to perform action. When the daughter-in-law is with child, her mother-in-law gives her less work to do. As time goes by she is given less and less work. When the time of delivery nears, she is not allowed to do any work at all, lest it should hurt the child or cause difficulty at the time of birth.

“By these philanthropic activities you are really doing good to yourself. If you can do them disinterestedly, your mind will become pure and you will develop love of God. As soon as you have that love you will realize Him.

“Man cannot really help the world. God alone does that - He who has created the sun and the moon, who has put love for their children in parents’ hearts, endowed noble souls with compassion, and holy men and devotees with divine love. The man who works for others, without any selfish motive, really does good to himself.

“There is gold buried in your heart, but you are not yet aware of it. It is covered with a thin layer of clay. Once you are aware of it, all these activities of yours will lessen. After the birth of her child, the daughter-in-law in the family busies herself with it alone. Everything she does is only for the child. Her mother-in-law doesn’t let her do any household duties.

Parable of the wood-cutter

“Go forward. A wood-cutter once entered a forest to gather wood. A brahmachari said to him, ‘Go forward.’ He obeyed the injunction and discovered some sandal-wood trees. After a few days he reflected, ‘The holy man asked me to go forward. He didn’t tell me to stop here.’ So he went forward and found a silver-mine. After a few days he went still farther and discovered a gold-mine, and next, mines of diamonds and precious stones. With these he became immensely rich.

“Through selfless work, love of God grows in the heart. Then, through His grace one realizes Him in course of time. God can be seen. One can talk to him as I am talking to you.”

In silent wonder they all sat listening to the Master’s words. It seemed to them that the Goddess of Wisdom Herself, seated on Sri Ramakrishna’s tongue was addressing these words not merely to Vidyasagar, but to all humanity for its good.

It was nearly nine o’clock in the evening. The Master was about to leave.

Master (to Vidyasagar, with a smile): “The words I have spoken are really superfluous. You know all this; you simply aren’t conscious of it. There are countless gems in the coffers of Varuna. But he himself isn’t aware of them.”

VIDYASAGAR (with a smile): “You may say as you like.”

MASTER (smiling): “Oh yes. There are many wealthy people who don’t know the names of all their servants, and are even unaware of many of the precious things in their houses.”(All laugh.)

Everybody was delighted with the Master’s conversation. Again addressing Vidyasagar, he said with a smile: “Please visit the temple garden some time - I mean the garden of Rasmani. It’s a charming place.”

VIDYASAGAR: “Oh, of course I shall go. You have so kindly come here to see me, and shall I not return your visit?”

MASTER: “Visit me? Oh, never think of such a thing!”

VIDYASAGAR: “Why, sir? Why do you say that? May I ask you to explain?”

MASTER (smiling): “You see, we are like small fishing-boats. (All smile.) We can ply in small canals and shallow waters and also in big rivers. But you are a ship. You may run aground on the way!” (All laugh.)

Vidyasagar remained silent. Sri Ramakrishna said with a laugh, “But even a ship can go there at this season.”

VIDYASAGR (smiling): “Yes, this is the monsoon season.”(All laugh.)

M. said to himself: “This is indeed the monsoon season of newly awakened love. At such times one doesn’t care for prestige or formalities.”

Sri Ramakrishna then took leave of Vidyasagar, who with his friends escorted the Master to the main gate, leading the way with a lighted candle in his hand. Before leaving the room, the Master prayed for the family’s welfare, going into an ecstatic mood as he did so.

As soon as the Master and the devotees reached the gate, they saw an unexpected sight and stood still. In front of them was a bearded gentleman of fair complexion, aged about thirty-six. He wore his clothes like a Bengali, but on his head was a white turban tied after the fashion of the Sikhs. No sooner did he see the Master than he fell prostrate before him, turban and all.

When he stood up the Master said: “Who is this? Balaram? Why so late in the evening?”

BALARAM: “I have been waiting here a long time, sir.”

MASTER: “Why didn’t you come in?”

BALARAM: “All were listening to you. I didn’t like to disturb you.” The Master got into the carriage with his companions.

VIDYASAGAR (to M., softly): “Shall I pay the carriage hire?”

M: “Oh, don’t bother, please. It is taken care of.”

Vidyasagar and his friends bowed to Sri Ramakrishna, and the carriage started for Dakshineswar. But the little group, with the venerable Vidyasagar at their head holding the lighted candle, stood at the gate and gazed after the Master until he was out of sight.

Chapter 4 - ADVICE TO HOUSEHOLDERS

August 13, 1882

THE MASTER WAS CONVERSING with Kedar and some other devotees in his room in the temple garden. Kedar was a government official and had spent several years at Dacca, in East Bengal, where he had become a friend of Vijay Goswami. The two would spend a great part of their time together, talking about Sri Ramakrishna and his spiritual experiences. Kedar had once been a member of the Brahmo Samaj. He followed the path of bhakti. Spiritual talk always brought tears to his eyes.

It was five o’clock in the afternoon. Kedar was very happy that day, having arranged a religious festival for Sri Ramakrishna. A singer had been hired by Ram, and the whole day passed in joy.

Secret of divine communion

The Master explained to the devotees the secret of communion with God.

MASTER: “With the realization of Satchidananda one goes into samadhi. Then duties drop away. Suppose I have been talking about the ostad and he arrives. What need is there of talking about him then? How long does the bee buzz around? So long as it isn’t sitting on a flower. But it will not do for the sadhaka to renounce duties. He should perform his duties, such as worship, japa, meditation, prayer, and pilgrimage.

“If you see someone engaged in reasoning even after he has realized God, you may liken him to a bee, which also buzzes a little even while sipping honey from a flower.”

The Master was highly pleased with the ostad’s music. He said to the musician, “There is a special manifestation of God’s power in a man who has any outstanding gift, such as proficiency in music.”

MUSICIAN: “Sir, what is the way to realize God?”

MASTER: “Bhakti is the one essential thing. To be sure, God exists in all beings. Who, then, is a devotee? He whose mind dwells on God. But this is not possible as long as one has egotism and vanity. The water of God’s grace cannot collect on the high mound of egotism. It runs down. I am a mere machine.

Master’s respect for other faiths

(To Kedar and the other devotees) “God can be realized through all paths. All religions are true. The important thing is to reach the roof. You can reach it by stone stairs or by wooden stairs or by bamboo steps or by a rope. You can also climb up by a bamboo pole.

Many names of one God

“You may say that there are many errors and superstitions in another religion. I should reply: Suppose there are. Every religion has errors. Everyone thinks that his watch alone gives the correct time. It is enough to have yearning for God. It is enough to love Him and feel attracted to Him: Don’t you know that God is the Inner Guide? He sees the longing of our heart and the yearning of our soul. Suppose a man has several sons. The older boys address him distinctly as ‘Baba’ or ‘Papa’, but the babies can at best call him ‘Ba’ or ‘Pa’. Now, will the father be angry with those who address him in this indistinct way? The father knows that they too are calling him, only they cannot pronounce his name well. All children are the same to the father. Likewise, the devotees call on God alone, though by different names. They call on one Person only. God is one, but His names are many.”

Thursday, August 24, 1882.

Sri Ramakrishna was talking to Hazra on the long northeast verandah of his room, when M. arrived. He saluted the Master reverently.

Spiritual disciplines necessary at the beginning

MASTER: “I should like to visit Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar a few times more. The painter first draws the general outlines and then puts in the details and colours at his leisure. The moulder first makes the image out of clay, then plasters it, then gives it a coat of whitewash, and last of all paints it with a brush. All these steps must be taken successively. Vidyasagar is fully ready, but his inner stuff is covered with a thin layer. He is now engaged in doing good works; but he doesn’t know what is within himself. Gold is hidden within him. God dwells within us. If one knows that, one feels like giving up all activities and praying to God with a yearning soul.”

So the Master talked with M. - now standing, now pacing up and down the long verandah.

MASTER: “A little spiritual discipline is necessary in order to know what lies within.”

M: “Is it necessary to practise discipline all through life?”

MASTER: “No. But one must be up and doing in the beginning. After that one need not work hard. The helmsman stands up and clutches the rudder firmly as long as the boat is passing through waves, storms, high wind, or around the curves of a river; but he relaxes after steering through them. As soon as the boat passes the curves and the helmsman feels a favourable wind, he sits comfortably and just touches the rudder. Next he prepares to unfurl the sail and gets ready for a smoke. Likewise, the aspirant enjoys peace and calm after passing the waves and storms of ‘woman and gold’.

“Woman and gold” is the obstruction to yoga

“Some are born with the characteristics of the yogi; but they too should be careful. It is ‘woman and gold’ alone that is the obstacle; it makes them deviate from the path of yoga and drags them into worldliness. Perhaps they have some desire for enjoyment. After fulfilling their desire, they again direct their minds to God and thus recover their former state of mind, fit for the practise of yoga.

“Have you ever seen the spring trap for fish, called the ’satka-kal’?”

M: “No, sir, I haven’t seen it.”

MASTER: “They use it in our part of the country. One end of a bamboo pole is fastened in the ground, and the other is bent over with a catch. From this end a line with a hook hangs over the water, with bait tied to the hook. When the fish swallows the bait, suddenly the bamboo jumps up and regains its upright position.

“Again, take a pair of scales for example. If a weight is placed on one side, the lower needle moves away from the upper one. The lower needle is the mind, and the upper one, God. The meeting of the two is yoga.

“Unless the mind becomes steady there cannot be yoga. It is the wind of worldliness that always disturbs the mind, which may be likened to a candle flame. If that flame doesn’t move at all, then one is said to have attained yoga.

” ‘Woman and gold’ alone is the obstacle to yoga. Always analyse what you see. What is there in the body of a woman? Only such things as blood, flesh, fat, entrails, and the like. Why should one love such a body?

“Sometimes I used to assume a rajasic mood in order to practise renunciation. Once I had the desire to put on a gold-embroidered robe, wear a ring on my finger, and smoke a hubble-bubble with a long pipe. Mathur Babu procured all these things for me. I wore the gold-embroidered robe and said to myself after a while, ‘Mind! This is what is called a gold-embroidered robe.’ Then I took it off and threw it away. I couldn’t stand the robe any more. Again I said to myself, ‘Mind! This is called a shawl, and this a ring, and this, smoking a hubble-bubble with a long pipe.’ I threw those things away once for all, and the desire to enjoy them never arose in my mind again.”

It was almost dusk. The Master and M. stood talking alone near the door on the southeast verandah.

MASTER (to M.): “The mind of the yogi is always fixed on God, always absorbed in the Self. You can recognize such a man by merely looking at him. His eyes are wide open, with an aimless look, like the eyes of the mother bird hatching her eggs. Her entire mind is fixed on the eggs, and there is a vacant look in her eyes. Can you show me such a picture?”

M: “I shall try to get one.”

As evening came on, the temples were lighted up. Sri Ramakrishna was seated on his small couch, meditating on the Divine Mother. Then he chanted the names of God. Incense was burnt in the room, where an oil lamp had been lighted. Sounds of conch-shells and gongs came floating on the air as the evening worship began in the temple of Kali. The light of the moon flooded all the quarters. The Master again spoke to M.

God and worldly duties

MASTER: “Perform your duties in an unselfish spirit. The work that Vidyasagar is engaged in is very good. Always try to perform your duties without desiring any result.”

M: “Yes, sir. But may I know if one can realize God while performing one’s duties? Can ‘Rama’ and ‘desire’ coexist? The other day I read in a Hindi couplet: ‘Where Rama is, there desire cannot be; where desire is, there Rama cannot be.’ ”

MASTER: “All, without exception, perform work. Even to chant the name and glories of God is work, as is the meditation of the non-dualist on ‘I am He’. Breathing is also an activity. There is no way of renouncing work altogether. So do your work, but surrender the result to God.”

God and worldly duties

M: “Sir, may I make an effort to earn more money?”

MASTER: “It is permissible to do so to maintain a religious family. You may try to increase your income, but in an honest way. The goal of life is not the earning of money, but the service of God. Money is not harmful if it is devoted to the service of God.”

M: “How long should a man feel obliged to do his duty toward his wife and children?”

MASTER: “As long as they feel pinched for food and clothing. But one need not take the responsibility of a son when he is able to support himself. When the young fledgling learns to pick its own food, its mother pecks it if it comes to her for food.”

M: “How long must one do one’s duty?”

MASTER: “The blossom drops off when the fruit appears. One doesn’t have to do one’s duty after the attainment of God, nor does one feel like doing it then.
“If a drunkard takes too much liquor he cannot retain consciousness. If he takes only two or three glasses, he can go on with his work. As you advance nearer and nearer to God, He will reduce your activities little by little. Have no fear.

“Finish the few duties you have at hand, and then you will have peace. When the mistress of the house goes to bathe after finishing her cooking and other household duties, she won’t come back, however you may shout after her.”

Different groups of devotees

M: “Sir, what is the meaning of the realization of God? What do you mean by God-vision? How does one attain it?”

MASTER: “According to the Vaishnavas the aspirants and the seers of God may be divided into different groups. These are the pravartaka, the sadhaka, the siddha, and the siddha of the siddha. He who has just set foot on the path may be called a pravartaka. He may be called a sadhaka who has for some time been practising spiritual disciplines, such as worship, japa, meditation, and the chanting of God’s name and glories. He may be called a siddha who has known from his inner experience that God exists. An analogy is given in the Vedanta to explain this. The master of the house is asleep in a dark room. Someone is groping in the darkness to find him. He touches the couch and says, ‘No, it is not he.’ He touches the window and says, ‘No, it is not he.’ He touches the door and says, ‘No, it is not he.’ This is known in the Vedanta as the process of ‘Neti, neti’, ‘Not this, not this’. At last his hand touches the master’s body and he exclaims, ‘Here he is!’ In other words, he is now conscious of the ‘existence’ of the master. He has found him, but he doesn’t yet know him intimately.

“There is another type, known as the siddha of the siddha, the ’supremely perfect’. It is quite a different thing when one talks to the master intimately, when one knows God very intimately through love and devotion. A siddha has undoubtedly attained God, but the ’supremely perfect’ has known God very intimately.

Different moods of aspirants

“But in order to realize God, one must assume one of these attitudes: Santa, dasya, sakhya, vatsalya, or madhur.

“Santa, the serene attitude. The rishis of olden times had this attitude toward God. They did not desire any worldly enjoyment. It is like the single-minded devotion of a wife to her husband. She knows that her husband is the embodiment of beauty and love, a veritable Madan.

“Dasya, the attitude of a servant toward his master. Hanuman had this attitude toward Rama. He felt the strength of a lion when he worked for Rama. A wife feels this mood also. She serves her husband with all her heart and soul. A mother also has a little of this attitude, as Yasoda had toward Krishna.

“Sakhya, the attitude of friendship. Friends say to one another, ‘Come here and sit near me.’ Sridama and other friends sometimes fed Krishna with fruit, part of which they had already eaten, and sometimes climbed on His shoulders.

“Vatsalya, the attitude of a mother toward her child. This was Yasoda’s attitude toward Krishna. The wife, too, has a little of this. She feeds her husband with her very life-blood, as it were. The mother feels happy only when the child has eaten to his heart’s content. Yasoda would roam about with butter in her hand, in order to feed Krishna.

“Madhur, the attitude of a woman toward her paramour. Radha had this attitude toward Krishna. The wife also feels it for her husband. This attitude includes all the other four.”

M: “When one sees God does one see Him with these eyes?”

MASTER: “God cannot be seen with these physical eyes. In the course of spiritual discipline one gets a ‘love body’, endowed with ‘love eyes’, ‘love ears’, and so on. One sees God with those ‘love eyes’. One hears the voice of God with those ‘love ears’. One even gets a sexual organ made of love.”

At these words M. burst out laughing. The Master continued, unannoyed, “With this ‘love body’ the soul communes with God.”

M. again became serious.

Seeing God everywhere

MASTER: “But this is not possible without intense love of God. One sees nothing but God everywhere when one loves Him with great intensity. It is like a person with jaundice, who sees everything yellow. Then one feels, ‘I am verily He’.

“A drunkard, deeply intoxicated, says, ‘Verily I am Kali!’ The gopis, intoxicated with love, exclaimed, ‘Verily I am Krishna!’

“One who thinks of God, day and night, beholds Him everywhere. It is like a man’s seeing flames on all sides after he has gazed fixedly at one flame for some time.”

“But that isn’t the real flame”, flashed through M.’s mind.

Sri Ramakrishna, who could read a man’s inmost thought, said: “One doesn’t lose consciousness by thinking of Him who is all Spirit, all Consciousness. Shivanath once remarked that too much thinking about God confounds the brain. Thereupon I said to him, ‘How can one become unconscious by thinking of Consciousness?’ ”

M: “Yes, sir, I realize that. It isn’t like thinking of an unreal object. How can a man lose his intelligence if he always fixes his mind on Him whose very nature is eternal Intelligence?”

MASTER (with pleasure): “It is through God’s grace that you understand that. The doubts of the mind will not disappear without His grace. Doubts do not disappear without Self-realization.

“But one need not fear anything if one has received the grace of God. It is rather easy for a child to stumble if he holds his father’s hand; but there can be no such fear if the father holds the child’s hand. A man does not have to suffer any more if God, in His grace, removes his doubts and reveals Himself to him. But this grace descends upon him only after he has prayed to God with intense yearning of heart and practised spiritual discipline. The mother feels compassion for her child when she sees him running about breathlessly. She has been hiding herself; now she appears before the child.”

“But why should God make us run about?” thought M

Immediately Sri Ramakrishna said: “It is His will that we should run about a little. Then it is great fun. God has created the world in play, as it were. This is called Mahamaya, the Great Illusion. Therefore one must take refuge in the Divine Mother, the Cosmic Power Itself. It is She who has bound us with the shackles of illusion. The realization of God is possible only when those shackles are severed.”

Worship of the Divine Mother

The Master continued: “One must propitiate the Divine Mother, the Primal Energy, in order to obtain God’s grace. God Himself is Mahamaya, who deludes the world with Her illusion and conjures up the magic of creation, preservation, and destruction. She has spread this veil of ignorance before our eyes. We can go into the inner chamber only when She lets us pass through the door. Living outside, we see only outer objects, but not that Eternal Being, Existence-Knowledge-Bliss Absolute. Therefore it is stated in the purna that deities like Brahma praised Mahamaya for the destruction of the demons Madhu and Kaitabha.

“Sakti alone is the root of the universe. That Primal Energy has two aspects: vidya and avidya. Avidya deludes. Avidya conjures up ‘woman and gold’, which casts the spell. Vidya begets devotion, kindness, wisdom, and love, which lead one to God. This avidya must be propitiated, and that is the purpose of the rites of Sakti worship.

“The devotee assumes various attitudes toward Sakti in order to propitiate Her: the attitude of a handmaid, a ‘hero’, or a child. A hero’s attitude is to please Her even as a man pleases a woman through intercourse.

“The worship of Sakti is extremely difficult. It is no joke. I passed two years as the handmaid and companion of the Divine Mother. But my natural attitude has always been that of a child toward its mother. I regard the breasts of any woman as those of my own mother.

Master’s attitude toward women

“Women are, all of them, the veritable images of Sakti. In northwest India the bride holds a knife in her hand at the time of marriage; in Bengal, a nut-cutter. The meaning is that the bridegroom, with the help of the bride, who is the embodiment of the Divine Power, will sever the bondage of illusion. This is the ‘heroic’ attitude. I never worshipped the Divine Mother that way. My attitude toward Her is that of a child toward its mother.

“The bride is the very embodiment of Sakti. Haven’t you noticed, at the marriage ceremony, how the groom sits behind like an idiot? But the bride - she is so bold!

His love for Narendra

“After attaining God one forgets His external splendour; the glories of His creation. One doesn’t think of God’s glories after one has seen Him. The devotee, once immersed in God’s Bliss, doesn’t calculate any more about outer things. When I see Narendra, I don’t need to ask him: ‘What’s your name? Where do you live?’ Where is the time for such questions? Once a man asked Hanuman which day of the fortnight it was. ‘Brother,’ said Hanuman, ‘I don’t know anything of the day of the week, or the fortnight, or the position of the stars. I think of Rama alone.’ ”

October 16, 1882

It was Monday, a few days before the Durga Puja, the festival of the Divine Mother. Sri Ramakrishna was in a very happy state of mind, for Narendra was with him. Narendra had brought two or three young members of the Brahmo Samaj to the temple garden. Besides these, Rakhal, Ramlal, Hazra, and M. were with the Master.

Narendra had his midday meal with Sri Ramakrishna. Afterwards a temporary bed was made on the floor of the Master’s room so that the disciples might rest awhile. A mat was spread, over which was placed a quilt covered with a white sheet. A few cushions and pillows completed the simple bed. Like a child, the Master sat near Narendranath on the bed. He talked with the devotees in great delight. With a radiant smile lighting his face, and his eyes fixed on Narendra, he was giving them various spiritual teachings, interspersing these with incidents from his own life.

MASTER: “After I had experienced samadhi, my mind craved intensely to hear only about God. I would always search for places where they were reciting or explaining the sacred books, such as the Bhagavata, the Mahabharata, and the Adhyatma Ramayana. I used to go to Krishnakishore to hear him read the Adhyatma Ramayana.

Krishnakishore’s faith

“What tremendous faith Krishnakishore had! Once, while at Vrindavan, he felt thirsty and went to a well. Near it he saw a man standing. On being asked to draw a little water for him, the man said: ‘I belong to a low caste, sir. You are a brahmin. How can I draw water for you?’ Krishnakishore said: ‘Take the name of Siva. By repeating His holy name you will make yourself pure.’ The low-caste man did as he was told, and Krishnakishore, orthodox brahmin that he was, drank that water. What tremendous faith!

“Once a holy man came to the bank of the Ganges and lived near the bathing-ghat at Ariadaha, not far from Dakshineswar. We thought of paying him a visit. I said to Haladhari: ‘Krishnakishore and I are going to see a holy man. Will you come with us?’ Haladhari replied, ‘What is the use of seeing a mere human body, which is no better than a cage of clay?’ Haladhari was a student of the Gita and Vedanta philosophy, and therefore referred to the holy man as a mere ‘cage of clay’. I repeated this to Krishnakishore. With great anger he said: ‘How impudent of Haladhari to make such a remark! How can he ridicule as a “cage of clay” the body of a man who constantly thinks of God, who meditates on Rama, and has renounced all for the sake of the Lord? Doesn’t he know that such a man is the embodiment of Spirit?’ He was so upset by Haladhari’s remarks that he would turn his face away from him whenever he met him in the temple garden, and stopped speaking to him.

“Once Krishnakishore asked me, ‘Why have you cast off the sacred thread?’ In those days of God-vision I felt as if I were passing through the great storm of Aswin, and everything had blown away from me. No trace of my old self was left. I lost all consciousness of the world. I could hardly keep my cloth on my body, not to speak of the sacred thread! I said to Krishnakishore, ‘Ah, you will understand if you ever happen to be as intoxicated with God as I was.’

“And it actually came to pass. He too passed through a God-intoxicated state, when he would repeat only the word ‘Om’ and shut himself up alone in his room. His relatives thought he was actually mad, and called in a physician. Ram Kaviraj of Natagore came to see him. Krishnakishore said to the physician, ‘Cure me, sir, of my malady, if you please, but not of my Om.’ (All laugh.)

“One day I went to see him and found him in a pensive mood. When I asked him about it, he said: ‘The tax-collector was here. He threatened to dispose of my brass pots, my cups, and my few utensils, if I didn’t pay the tax; so I am worried.’ I said: ‘But why should you worry about it? Let him take away your pots and pans. Let him arrest your body even. How will that affect you? For your nature is that of Kha!’ (Narendra and the others laugh.) He used to say to me that he was the Spirit, all-pervading as the sky. He had got that idea from the Adhyatma Ramayana. I used to tease him now and then, addressing him as ‘Kha’. Therefore I said to him that day, with a smile: ‘You are Kha. Taxes cannot move you!’

Master’s outspokenness

“In that state of God-intoxication I used to speak out my mind to all. I was no respecter of persons. Even to men of position I was not afraid to speak the truth.

“One day Jatindra came to the garden of Jadu Mallick. I was there too. I asked him: ‘What is the duty of man? Isn’t it our duty to think of God?’ Jatindra replied: ‘We are worldly people. How is it possible for us to achieve liberation? Even King Yudhisthira had to have a vision of hell.’ This made me very angry. I said to him: ‘What sort of man are you? Of all the incidents of Yudhisthira’s life, you remember only his seeing hell. You don’t remember his truthfulness, his forbearance, his patience, his discrimination, his dispassion, his devotion to God.’ I was about to say many more things, when Hriday stopped my mouth. After a little while Jatindra left the place, saying he had some other business to attend to.

“Many days later I went with Captain to see Raja Sourindra Tagore. As soon as I met him, I said, ‘I can’t address you as “Raja”, or by any such title, for I should be telling a lie.’ He talked to me a few minutes, ‘but even so our conversation was interrupted by the frequent visits of Europeans and others. A man of rajasic temperament, Sourindra was naturally busy with many things. Jatindra his eldest brother, had been told of my coming, but he sent word that he had a pain in his throat and couldn’t go out.

“One day, in that state of divine intoxication, I went to the bathing-ghat on the Ganges at Baranagore. There I saw Jaya Mukherji repeating the name of God; but his mind was on something else. I went up and slapped him twice on the cheeks.

“At one time Rani Rasmani was staying in the temple garden. She came to the shrine of the Divine Mother, as she frequently did when I worshipped Kali, and asked me to sing a song or two. On this occasion, while I was singing, I noticed she was sorting the flowers for worship absent-mindedly. At once I slapped her on the cheeks. She became quite embarrassed and sat there with folded hands.

“Alarmed at this state of mind myself, I said to my cousin Haladhari: ‘Just see my nature! How can I get rid of it?’ After praying to the Divine Mother for some time with great yearning, I was able to shake off this habit.

His anguish at worldly talk

“When one gets into such a state of mind, one doesn’t enjoy any conversation but that about God. I used to weep when I heard people talk about worldly matters. When I accompanied Mathur Babu on a pilgrimage, we spent a few days in Benares at Raja Babu’s house. One day I was seated in the drawing-room with Mathur Babu, Raja Babu, and others. Hearing them talk about various worldly things, such as their business losses and so forth, I wept bitterly and said to the Divine Mother: ‘Mother, where have You brought me? I was much better off in the temple garden at Dakshineswar. Here I am in a place where I must bear about “woman and gold”. But at Dakshineswar I could avoid it.’ ”

The Master asked the devotees, especially Narendra, to rest awhile, and he himself lay down on the smaller couch.

His ecstasy in kirtan

Late in the afternoon Narendra sang. Rakhal, Latu, M., Hazra, and Priya, Narendra’s Brahmo friend, were present. The singing was accompanied by the drum:

Meditate, O my mind, on the Lord Hari,
The Stainless One, Pure Spirit through and through.
How peerless is the light that in Him shines!
How soul-bewitching is His wondrous form!
How dear is He to all His devotees! …

After this song Narendra sang:

Oh, when will dawn for me that day of blessedness
When He who is all Good, all Beauty, and all Truth,
Will light the inmost shrine of my heart?
When shall I sink at last, ever beholding Him,
Into that Ocean of Delight?
Lord, as Infinite Wisdom Thou shalt enter my soul,
And my unquiet mind, made speechless by Thy sight,
Will find a haven at Thy feet.
In my heart’s firmament, O Lord, Thou wilt arise
As Blissful Immortality;
And as, when the chakora beholds the rising moon,
It sports about for very joy,
So, too, shall I be filled with heavenly happiness
When Thou appearest unto me.

Thou One without a Second, all Peace, the King of Kings!
At Thy beloved feet I shall renounce my life
And so at last shall gain life’s goal;
1 shall enjoy the bliss of heaven while yet on earth!
Where else is a boon so rare bestowed?
Then shall I see Thy glory, pure and untouched by stain;
As darkness flees from 1ight, so will my darkest sins
Desert me at Thy dawn’s approach.
Kindle in me, O Lord, the blazing fire of faith
To be the pole-star of my life;
O Succour of the weak, fulfil my one desire!
Then shall I bathe both day and night
In the boundless bliss of Thy Love, and utterly forget
Myself, O Lord, attaining Thee.

Narendra sang again:

With beaming face chant the sweet name of God
Till in your heart the nectar overflows.
Drink of it ceaselessly and share it with all!
If ever your heart runs dry, parched by the flames
Of worldly desire, chant the sweet name of God,
And heavenly love will moisten your arid soul.

Be sure, O mind, you never forget to chant
His holy name: when danger stares in your face,
Call on Him, your Father Compassionate;
With His name’s thunder, snap the fetters of sin!
Come, let us fulfil our hearts’ desires
By drinking deep of Everlasting Joy,
Made one with Him in Love’s pure ecstasy.

Now Narendra and the devotees began to sing kirtan, accompanied by the drum and cymbals. They moved round and round the Master as they sang:

Immerse yourself for evermore, O mind,
In Him who is Pure Knowledge and Pure Bliss.

Next they sang:

Oh, when will dawn for me that day of blessedness
When He who is all Good, all Beauty, and all Truth
Will light the inmost shrine of my heart? …

At last Narendra himself was playing on the drums, and he sang with the Master, full of joy:

With beaming face chant the sweet name of God …

When the music was over, Sri Ramakrishna held Narendra in his arms a long time and said, “You have made us so happy today!” The flood-gate of the Master’s heart was open so wide, that night, that he could hardly contain himself for joy. It was eight o’clock in the evening. Intoxicated with divine love, he paced the long verandah north of his room. Now and then he could be heard talking to the Divine Mother. Suddenly he said in an excited voice, “What can you do to me?” Was the Master hinting that maya was helpless before him, since he had the Divine Mother for his support?

Narendra, M., and Priya were going to spend the night at the temple garden. This pleased the Master highly, especially since Narendra would be with him. The Holy Mother, who was living in the nahabat, had prepared the supper. Surendra bore the greater part of the Master’s expenses. The meal was ready, and the plates were set out on the southeast verandah of the Masters room.

Near the east door of his room Narendra and the other devotees were gossiping.

NARENDRA: “How do you find the young men nowadays?”

M: “They are not bad; but they don’t receive any religious instructions”.

NARENDRA: “But from my experience I feel they are going to the dogs. They smoke cigarettes, indulge in frivolous talk, enjoy foppishness, play truant, and do everything of that sort. I have even seen them visiting questionable places.”

M: “I didn’t notice such things during our student days.”

NARENDRA: “Perhaps you didn’t mix with the students intimately. I have even seen them talking with people of immoral character. Perhaps they are on terms of intimacy with them.”

M: “It is strange indeed.”

NARENDRA: “I know that many of them form bad habits. It would be proper if the guardians of the boys, and the authorities, kept their eyes on these matters.”

They Were talking thus when Sri Ramakrishna came to them and asked with a smile, “Well, what are you talking about?”

NARENDRA: “I have been asking M. about the boys in the schools. The conduct of students nowadays isn’t all that it should be.”

The Master became grave and said to M. rather seriously: “This kind of conversation is not good. It isn’t desirable to indulge in any talk but talk of God. You are their senior, and you are intelligent. You should not have encouraged them to talk about such matters.”

Narendra was then about nineteen years old, and M. about twenty-eight. Thus admonished, M. felt embarrassed, and the others also fell silent.

While the devotees were enjoying their meal, Sri Ramakrishna stood by and watched them with intense delight. That night the Master’s joy was very great.

After supper the devotees rested on the mat spread on the floor of the Master’s room. They began to talk with him. It was indeed a mart of joy. The Master asked Narendra to sing the song beginning with the line: “In Wisdom’s firmament the moon of Love is rising full.”

Narendra sang, and other devotees played the drums and cymbals:

In Wisdom’s firmament the moon of Love is rising full,
And Love’s flood-tide, in surging waves, is flowing everywhere.
O Lord, how full of bliss Thou art! Victory unto Thee!

On every side shine devotees, like stars around the moon;
Their Friend, the Lord All-merciful, joyously plays with them.
Behold! the gates of paradise today are open wide.

The soft spring wind of the New Day raises fresh waves of joy;
Gently it carries to the earth the fragrance of God’s Love,
Till all the yogis, drunk with bliss, are lost in ecstasy.

Upon the sea of the world unfolds the lotus of the New Day,
And there the Mother sits enshrined in blissful majesty.
See how the bees are mad with joy, sipping the nectar there!

Behold the Mother’s radiant face, which so enchants the heart
And captivates the universe! About Her Lotus Feet
Bands of ecstatic holy men are dancing in delight.

What matchless loveliness is Hers! What infinite content
Pervades the heart when She appears! O brothers, says Premdas,
I humbly beg you, one and all, to sing the Mother’s praise!

Sri Ramakrishna sang and danced, and the devotees danced around him.

A devotee’s dream

When the song was over, the Master walked up and down the northeast verandah, where Hazra was seated with M. The Master sat down there. He asked a devotee, “Do you ever have dreams?”

DEVOTEE: “Yes, sir. The other day I dreamt a strange dream. I saw the whole world enveloped in water. There was water on all sides. A few boats were visible, but suddenly huge waves appeared and sank them. I was about to board a ship with a few others, when we saw a brahmin walking over that expanse of water. I asked him, ‘How can you walk over the deep?’ The brahmin said with a smile: ‘Oh, there is no difficulty about that. There is a bridge under the water.’ I said to him, ‘Where are you going?’ ‘To Bhawanipur, the city of the Divine Mother’, he replied. ‘Wait a little’, I cried. ‘I shall accompany you.’ ”

MASTER: “Oh. I am thrilled to hear the story!”

DEVOTEE: “The brahmin said: ‘I am in a hurry. It will take you some
time to get out of the boat. Good-bye. Remember this path and come after me.

MASTER: “Oh, my hair is standing on end! Please be initiated by a guru as soon as possible.”

Shortly before midnight Narendra and the other devotees lay down on a bed made on the floor of the Master’s room.

At dawn some of the devotees were up. They saw the Master, naked as a child, pacing up and down the room, repeating the names of the various gods and goddesses. His voice was sweet as nectar. Now he would look at the Ganges, now stop in front of the pictures hanging on the wall and bow down before them, chanting all the while the holy names in his sweet voice. He chanted: “Veda, Purana, Tantra; Gita, Gayatri; Bhagavata, Bhakta, Bhagavan.” Referring to the Gita, he repeated many times, “Tagi, tagi, tagi.” Now and then he would say: “O Mother, Thou art verily Brahman, and Thou art verily Sakti. Thou art Purusha and Thou art Prakriti. Thou art Virat. Thou art the Absolute, and Thou dost manifest Thyself as the Relative. Thou art verily the twenty-four cosmic principles.”

In the mean time the morning service had begun in the temples of Kali and Radhakanta. Sounds of conch-shells and cymbals were carried on the air. The devotees came outside the room and saw the priests and servants gathering flowers in the garden for the divine service in the temples. From the nahabat floated the sweet melody of musical instruments, befitting the morning hours.

Narendra and the other devotees finished their morning duties and came to the Master. With a sweet smile on his lips Sri Ramakrishna was standing on the northeast verandah, close to his own room.

NARENDRA: “We noticed several sannyasis belonging to the sect of Nanak in the Panchavati.”

MASTER: “Yes, they arrived here yesterday. (To Narendra) I’d like to see you all sitting together on the mat.”

As they sat there the Master looked at them with evident delight. He then began to talk with them. Narendra asked about spiritual discipline.

MASTER: “Bhakti, love of God, is the essence of all spiritual discipline. Through love one acquires renunciation and discrimination naturally.”

Disciplines of Tantra

NARENDRA: “Isn’t it true that the Tantra prescribes spiritual discipline in the company of woman?”

MASTER: “That is not desirable. It is a very difficult path and often causes the aspirant’s downfall. There are three such kinds of discipline. One may regard woman as one’s mistress or look on oneself as her handmaid or as her child. I look on woman as my mother. To look on oneself as her handmaid is also good; but it is extremely difficult to practise spiritual discipline looking on woman as one’s mistress. To regard oneself as her child is a very pure attitude.”

The sannyasis belonging to the sect of Nanak entered the room and
greeted the Master, saying, “Namo Narayanaya.” Sri Ramakrishna asked them to sit down.

All is possible with God

MASTFR: “Nothing is impossible for God. Nobody can describe His nature in words. Everything is possible for Him. There lived at a certain place two yogis who were practising spiritual discipline. The sage Narada was passing that way one day. Realizing who he was, one of the yogis said: ‘You have just come from God Himself. What is He doing now?’ Narada replied, ‘Why, I saw Him making camels and elephants pass and repass through the eye of a needle.’ At this the yogi said: ‘Is that anything to wonder at? Everything is possible for God.’ But the other yogi said: ‘What? Making elephants pass through the eye of a needle - is that ever possible? You have never been to the Lord’s dwelling-place.’ ”

At nine o’clock in the morning, while the Master was still sitting in his room, Manomohan arrived from Konnagar with some members of his family. In answer to Sri Ramakrishna’s kind inquiries, Manomohan explained that he was taking them to Calcutta. The Master said: “Today is the first day of the Bengali month, an inauspicious day for undertaking a journey. I hope everything will be well with you.” With a smile he began to talk of other matters.

When Narendra and his friends had finished bathing in the Ganges, the Master said to them earnestly: “Go to the Panchavati and meditate there under the banyan-tree. Shall I give you something to sit on?”

Discrimination and dispassion

About half past ten Narendra and his Brahmo friends were meditating in the Panchavati. After a while Sri Ramakrishna came to them. M., too, was present.

The Master said to the Brahmo devotees: “In meditation one must be absorbed in God. By merely floating on the surface of the water, can you reach the gems lying at the bottom of the sea?”

Then he sang:

Taking the name of Kali, dive deep down,
O mind, Into the heart’s fathomless depths,
Where many a precious gem lies hid.
But never believe the bed of the ocean bare of gems
If in the first few dives you fail;
With firm resolve and self-control
Dive deep and make your way to Mother Kali’s realm.

Down in the ocean depths of heavenly Wisdom lie
The wondrous pearls of Peace, O mind;
And you yourself can gather them,
If you but have pure love and follow the scriptures’ rule.
Within those ocean depths, as well,
Six alligators, lurk - lust, anger, and the rest -
Swimming about in search of prey.
Smear yourself with the turmeric of discrimination;
The very smell of it will shield you from their jaws.
Upon the ocean bed lie strewn
Unnumbered pearls and precious gems;
Plunge in, says Ramprasad, and gather up handfuls there!

Narendra and his friends came down from their seats on the raised platform of the Panchavati and stood near the Master. He returned to his room with them. The Master continued: “When you plunge in the water of the ocean, you may be attacked by alligators. But they won’t touch you if your body is smeared with turmeric. There are no doubt six alligators - lust, anger, avarice, and so on - within you, in the ‘heart’s fathomless depths’. But protect yourself with the turmeric of discrimination and renunciation, and they won’t touch you.

Futility of mere lecturing

“What can you achieve by mere lecturing and scholarship without discrimination and dispassion? God alone is real, and all else is unreal. God alone is substance, and all else is nonentity. That is discrimination.

“First of all set up God in the shrine of your heart, and then deliver lectures as much as you like. How will the mere repetition of ‘Brahma’ profit you if you are not imbued with discrimination and dispassion? It is the empty sound of a conch-shell.

“There lived in a village a young man named Padmalochan. People used to call him ‘Podo’, for short. In this village there was a temple in a very dilapidated condition. It contained no image of God. Aswattha and other plants sprang up on the ruins of its walls. Bats lived inside, and the floor was covered with dust and the droppings of the bats. The people of the village had stopped visiting the temple. One day after dusk the villagers heard the sound of a conch-shell from the direction of the temple. They thought perhaps someone had installed an image in the shrine and was performing the evening worship. One of them softly opened the door and saw Padmalochan standing in a corner, blowing the conch. No image had been set up. The temple hadn’t been swept or washed. And filth and dirt lay everywhere. Then he shouted to Podo:

You have set up no image here,
Within the shrine, O fool!
Blowing the conch, you simply make
Confusion worse confounded.
Day and night eleven bats
Scream there incessantly. …

Purification of mind

“There is no use in merely making a noise if you want to establish the Deity in the shrine of your heart, if you want to realize God. First of all purify the mind. In the pure heart God takes His seat. One cannot bring the holy image into the temple if the droppings of bats are all around. The eleven bats are our eleven organs: five of action, five of perception, and the mind.

“First of all invoke the Deity, and then give lectures to your heart’s content. First of all dive deep. Plunge to the bottom and gather up the gems. Then you may do other things. But nobody wants to plunge. People are without spiritual discipline and prayer, without renunciation and dispassion. They learn a few words and immediately start to deliver lectures. It is difficult to teach others. Only if a man gets a command from God, after realizing Him, is he entitled to teach.”

Thus conversing, the Master came to the west end of the verandah. M stood by his side. Sri Ramakrishna had repeated again and again that God cannot be realized without discrimination and renunciation. This made M. extremely worried. He had married and was then a young man of twenty-eight, educated in college in the Western way. Having a sense of duty, he asked himself, “Do discrimination and dispassion mean giving up ‘woman and gold’?” He was really at a loss to know what to do.

M. (to the Master): “What should one do if one’s wife says: ‘You are neglecting me. I shall commit suicide?’ ”

MASTER (in a serious tone): “Give up such a wife if she proves an obstacle in the way of spiritual life. Let her commit suicide or anything else she likes. The wife that hampers her husband’s spiritual life is an ungodly wife.”

Immersed in deep thought, M. stood leaning against the wall. Narendra and the other devotees remained silent a few minutes. The Master exchanged several words with them; then, suddenly going to M., he whispered in his ear: “But if a man has sincere love for God, then all come under his control - the king, wicked persons, and his wife. Sincere love of God on the husband’s part may eventually help the wife to lead a spiritual life. If the husband is good, then through the grace of God the wife may also follow his example.”

This had a most soothing effect on M.’s worried mind. All the while he had been thinking: “Let her commit suicide. What can I do?”

M. (to the Master): “This world is a terrible place indeed.”

MASTER (to the devotees): “That is the reason Chaitanya said to his companion Nityananda, ‘Listen, brother, there is no hope of salvation for the worldly-minded.’ ”

On another occasion the Master had said to M. privately: “Yes, there is no hope for a worldly man if he is not sincerely devoted to God. But he has nothing to fear if he remains in the world after realizing God. Nor need a man have any fear whatever of the world if he attains sincere devotion by practising spiritual discipline now and then in solitude. Chaitanya had several householders among his devotees, but they were householders in name only, for they lived unattached to the world.”
It was noon. The worship was over, and food offerings had been made in the temple. The doors of the temple were shut. Sri Ramakrishna sat down for his meal, and Narendra and the other devotees partook of the food offerings from the temple.

Sunday, October 22, 1882

It was the day of Vijaya, the last day of the celebration of the worship of Durga, when the clay image is immersed in the water of a lake or river.

About nine o’clock in the morning M. was seated on the floor of the Master’s room at Dakshineswar, near Sri Ramakrishna, who was reclining on the small couch. Rakhal was then living with the Master, and Narendra and Bhavanath visited him frequently. Baburam had seen him only once or twice.

MASTER: “Did you have any holiday during the Durga Puja?”

M: “Yes, sir. I went to Keshab’s house every day for the first three days of the worship.”

MASTER: “Is that so?”

M: “I heard there a very interesting interpretation of the Durga Puja.”

MASTER: “Please tell me all about it.”

M: “Keshab Sen held daily morning prayers in his house, lasting till ten or eleven. During these prayers he gave the inner meaning of the Durga Puja. He said that if anyone could realize the Divine Mother, that is to say, could install Mother Durga in the shrine of his heart, then Lakshmi, Sarasvati, Kartika, and Ganesa would come there of themselves. Lakshmi means wealth, Sarasvati knowledge, Kartika strength, and Ganesa success. By realizing the Divine Mother within one’s heart, one gets all these without any effort whatever.”

Sri Ramakrishna listened to the description, questioning M. now and then about the prayers conducted by Keshab. At last he said to M.: “Don’t go hither and thither. Come here alone. Those who belong to the inner circle of my devotees will come only here. Boys like Narendra, Bhavanath, and Rakhal are my very intimate disciples. They are not to be thought lightly of. Feed13 them one day. What do you think of Narendra?”

M: “I think very highly of him, sir.”

Narendra’s many virtues

MASTER: “Haven’t you observed his many virtues? He is not only well versed in music, vocal and instrumental, but he is also very learned. Besides, he has controlled his passions and declares he will lead a celibate life. He has been devoted to God since his very boyhood.

Meditation on God with form

“How are you getting along with your meditation nowadays? What aspect of God appeals to your mind - with form or without form?”

M: “Sir, now I can’t fix my mind on God with form. On the other hand, I can’t concentrate steadily on God without form.”

MASTER: “Now you see that the mind cannot be fixed, all of a sudden, on the formless aspect of God. It is wise to think of God with form during the primary stages.”

M: “Do you mean to suggest that one should meditate on clay images?”

MASTER: “Why clay? These images are the embodiments of Consciousness.”

M: “Even so, one must think of hands, feet, and the other parts of body. But again, I realize that the mind cannot be concentrated unless one meditates, in the beginning, on God with form. You have told me so. Well, God can easily assume different forms. May one meditate on the form of one’s own mother?”

MASTER: “Yes, the mother should be adored. She is indeed an embodiment of Brahman.”

M. sat in silence. After a few minutes he asked the Master: “What does one feel while thinking of God without form? Isn’t it possible to describe it?” After some reflection, the Master said, “Do you know what it is like?” He remained silent a moment and then said a few words to M. about one’s experiences at the time of the vision of God with and without form.

MASTER: “You see, one must practise spiritual discipline to understand this correctly. Suppose, there are treasures in a room. If you want to see them and lay hold of them, you must take the trouble to get the key and unlock the door. After that you must take the treasures out. But suppose the room is locked, and standing outside the door you say to yourself: ‘Here I have opened the door. Now I have broken the lock of the chest. Now I have taken out the treasure.’ Such brooding near the door will not enable you to achieve anything. You must practise discipline.

Brahman and Divine Incarnations

“The jnanis think of God without form. They don’t accept the Divine Incarnation. Praising Sri Krishna, Arjuna said, ‘Thou art Brahman Absolute.’ Sri Krishna replied, ‘Follow Me, and you will know whether or not I am Brahman Absolute.’ So saying, Sri Krishna led Arjuna to a certain place and asked him what he saw there. ‘I see a huge tree,’ said Arjuna, ‘and on it I notice fruits hanging like clusters of blackberries.’ Then Krishna said to Arjuna, ‘Come nearer and you will find that these are not clusters of blackberries, but clusters of innumerable Krishnas like Me, hanging from the tree.’ In other words, Divine Incarnations without number appear and disappear on the tree of the Absolute Brahman.

“Kavirdas was strongly inclined to the formless God. At the mention of Krishna’s name he would say: ‘Why should I worship Him? The gopis would clap their hands while He performed a monkey dance.’ (With a smile) But I accept God with form when I am in the company of people who believe in that ideal, and I also agree with those who believe in the formless God.”

M. (smiling): “You are as infinite as He of whom we have been talking. Truly, no one can fathom your depth.”

MASTER (smiling): “Ah! I see you have found it out. Let me tell you one thing. One should follow various paths. One should practise each creed for a time. In a game of satrancha a piece can’t reach the centre square until it completes the circle; but once in the square it can’t be overtaken by any other piece.”

M: “That is true, sir.”

MASTER: “There are two classes of. yogis: the bahudakas and the kutichakas. The bahudakas roam about visiting various holy places and have not yet found peace of mind. But the kutichakas, having visited all the sacred places, have quieted their minds. Feeling serene and peaceful, they settle down in one place and no longer move about. In that one place they are happy; they don’t feel the need of going to any sacred place. If one of them ever visits a place of pilgrimage, it is only for the purpose of new inspiration.

“I had to practise each religion for a time - Hinduism, Islam, Christianity. Furthermore, I followed the paths of the Saktas, Vaishnavas, and Vedantists. I realized that there is only one God toward whom all are travelling; but the paths are different.

“While visiting the holy places, I would sometimes suffer great agony. Once I went with Mathur to Raja Babu’s drawing-room in Benares. I found that they talked there only of worldly matters - money, real estate, and the like. At this I burst into tears. I said to the Divine Mother, weeping: ‘Mother! Where hast Thou brought me? I was much better off at Dakshineswar.’ In Allahabad I noticed the same things that I saw elsewhere - the same ponds, the same grass, the same trees, the same tamarind-leaves.

Master’s ecstasy at Vrindavan

“But one undoubtedly finds inspiration in a holy place. I accompanied Mathur Babu to Vrindavan. Hriday and the ladies of Mathur’s family were in our party. No sooner did I see the Kaliyadaman Ghat than a divine emotion surged up within me. I was completely overwhelmed. Hriday used to bathe me there as if I were a small child.

“In the dusk I would walk on the bank of the Jamuna when the cattle returned along the sandy banks from their pastures. At the very sight of those cows the thought of Krishna would flash in my mind. I would run along like a madman, crying: ‘Oh, where is Krishna? Where is my Krishna?’

“I went to Syamakunda and Radhakunda in a palanquin and got out to visit the holy Mount Govardhan. At the very sight of the mount I was overpowered with divine emotion and ran to the top. I lost all consciousness of the world around me. The residents of the place helped me to come down. On my way to the sacred pools of Syamakunda and Radhakunda, when I saw the meadows, the trees, the shrubs, the birds, and the deer, I was overcome with ecstasy. My clothes became wet with tears. I said: ‘O Krishna! Everything here is as it was in the olden days. You alone are absent.’ Seated inside the palanquin I lost all power of speech. Hriday followed the palanquin. He had warned the bearers to be careful about me.

“Gangamayi became very fond of me in Vrindavan. She was an old woman who lived all alone in a hut near the Nidhuvan. Referring to my spiritual condition and ecstasy, she said, ‘He is the very embodiment of Radha.’ She addressed me as ‘Dulali’. When with her, I used to forget my food and drink, my bath, and all thought of going home. On some days Hriday used to bring food from home and feed me. Gangamayi also would serve me with food prepared by her own hands.

“Gangamayi used to experience trances. At such times a great crowd would come to see her. One day, in a state of ecstasy, she climbed on Hriday’s shoulders.

“I didn’t want to leave her and return to Calcutta. Everything was arranged for me to stay with her. I was to eat double-boiled rice, and we were to have our beds on either side of the cottage. All the arrangements had been made, when Hriday said: ‘You have such a weak stomach. Who will look after you?’ ‘Why,’ said Gangamayi, ‘I shall look after him. I’ll nurse him.’ As Hriday dragged me by one hand and she by the other, I remembered my mother, who was then living alone here in the nahabat of temple garden. I found it impossible to stay away from her, and said to Gangamayi, ‘No, I must go.’ I loved the atmosphere of Vrindavan.”

About eleven o’clock the Master took his meal, the offerings from temple of Kali. After taking his noonday rest he resumed his conversation with the devotees. Every now and then he uttered the holy word “Om” or repeated the sacred names of the deities.

After sunset the evening worship was performed in the temples. Since it was the day of Vijaya, the devotees first saluted the Divine Mother and then took the dust of the Master’s feet.

Tuesday, October 24,1882

It was three or four o’clock in the afternoon. The Master was standing near the shelf where the food was kept, when Balaram and M. arrived from Calcutta and saluted him. Sri Ramakrishna said to them with a smile: “I was going to take some sweets from the shelf, but no sooner did I put my hand on them than a lizard dropped on my body. At once I removed my hand. (All laugh.)

“Oh, yes! One should observe all these things. You see, Rakhal is ill, and my limbs ache too. Do you know what’s the matter? This morning as I was leaving my bed I saw a certain person, whom I took for Rakhal. (All laugh.) Oh, yes! Physical features should be studied. The other day Narendra brought one of his friends, a man with only one good eye, though the other eye was not totally blind. I said to myself, ‘What is this trouble that Narendra has brought with him?’

“A certain person comes here, but I can’t eat any food that he brings. He works in an office at a salary of twenty rupees and earns another twenty by writing false bills. I can’t utter a word in his presence, because he tells lies. Sometimes he stays here two or three days without going to his office. Can you guess his purpose? It is that I should recommend him to someone for a job somewhere else.

“Balaram comes from a family of devout Vaishnavas. His father, now an old man, is a pious devotee. He has a tuft of hair on his head, a rosary of tulsi beads round his neck, and a string of beads in his hand. He devotes his time to the repetition of God’s name. He owns much property in Orissa and has built temples to Radha-Krishna in Kothar, Vrindavan, and other places, establishing free guest-houses as well.

(To Balaram) “A certain person came here the other day. I understand he is the slave of that black hag of a wife. Why is it that people do not see God? It is because of the barrier of ‘woman and gold’. How impudent he was to say to you the other day, ‘A paramahamsa came to my father, who fed him with chicken curry!’

“In my present of my mind I can eat a little fish soup if it has been offered to the Divine Mother beforehand. I can’t eat any meat, even if it is offered to the Divine Mother; but I taste it with the end of my finger lest She should be angry. (Laughter.)

“Well, can you explain this state of my mind? Once I was going from Burdwan to Kamarpukur in a bullock-cart, when a great storm arose. Some people gathered near the cart. My companions said they were robbers. So I began to repeat the names of God, calling sometimes on Kali, sometimes on Rama, sometimes on Hanuman. What do you think of that?”

Was the Master hinting that God is one but is addressed differently by different sects?

MASTER (to Balaram): “Maya is nothing but ‘woman and gold’. A man living in its midst gradually loses his spiritual alertness. He thinks all is well with him. The scavenger carries a tub of night-soil on his head, and in course of time loses his repulsion to it. One gradually acquires love of God through the practice of chanting God’s name and glories. (To M.) One should not be ashamed of chanting God’s holy name. As the saying goes, ‘One does not succeed so long as one has these three: shame, hatred, and fear.’

“At Kamarpukur they sing kirtan very well. The devotional music is sung to the accompaniment of drums.

(To Balaram) “Have you installed any image at Vrindavan?”

BALARAM: “Yes, sir. We have a grove where Krishna is worshipped.”

MASTER: “I have been to Vrindavan. The Nidhu Grove is very nice indeed.”